This article was published on January 31st, 2018

Breaking up is hard. But there is absolutely nothing that says you need to lose who you are or how you treat people. Don’t be a douche when you break up and let the fella down easy. Here’s 10 ways to let a guy down easy in that will guarantee you can walk away with your head held high.

1. Honesty is the best policy. No matter how bad you think the truth might hurt, it’s better to break up by telling him exactly what went wrong.
2. Do it in person. Don’t be that Berger character that left Carrie a post-it. Face him and do it in person. Texting or emailing are just cruel and don’t allow for feelings or inflections.
3. Make the effort. If he really was important in your life, there’s nothing that says you have to sever ties completely. But make the effort to adhere to his wishes. If he wants you to get lost, respect that and give it time. Before initiating the break up, speak with him a few times about the issues you have to see if things change.
4. Don’t prolong the inevitable. When you are done, you’re done. Be honest with yourself and your guy by coming clean with your feelings.
5. Listen with the intent of hearing him out. A great way to guarantee you’re going to still walk away on amicable terms is if you give him the benefit of listening to your soon-to-be ex.
6. If you can’t do it in person, a phone call or FaceTime call is barely sufficient. But it is certainly better than a shitty text or email.
7. Be a man. Prepare yourself to take some punches, metaphorically. He’ll respect you a lot more when it’s all said and done if you’re able to stand up for yourself while granting him the respect he deserves.
8. Be willing to take the blame. As the title of this article implies, you’re the one who is done and wants to do the breaking up. So be prepared to take the blame for why the relationship didn’t work.
9. Do it in private. Your relationship was between you and one another person, not either of your friends or family. Just as personal as your relationship should your break up be.
10. If you really want to show that you made every last stitch effort, try couples therapy and give that a shot versus breaking up, unless, of course, you already know you’re done. Then, check our way back up to number 4, and show the person that you tried your best before breaking up.

Were you dating and had to let a guy down easy? If you have advice for others, leave your tips in the comments section below.