This article was published on October 14th, 2012
While there are no official rules around how to use Grindr, a geo-target mobile app for gay and bisexual men to meet others in their local proximity, there are some basic etiquette rules that should be followed. Here are then quick tips to help you avoid disappointment, get what you want faster and to respect others.
- Know What You’re Looking For – Grindr is all about connecting with other guys in your area. Be honest with yourself and what you want – ie an LTR, meet new friends, find a quick hook up, conversation, or a local tour guide if you’re visiting a new city. Knowing why you are online will help you get to your end goal quicker and avoid disappointment to yourself and other users.
- Complete Your Profile – Just like you want to know whom you are talking to, people want to know a bit about you first too. Basic information of age, height, weight, and ethnicity will allow others to narrow their search on what they are looking for. People don’t like to waste time on apps, so help everyone out. If you’re looking for something in particular, put it in your bio.
- Profile Pictures – No one cares about your vacation, pet or scenic photos, in fact, it’s a great way to get blocked quickly. At the minimum, post a clear face shot of yourself; people like to know who they are taking to. If you’re looking for an LTR, conversation, friends, etc., having a picture of your torso sends the wrong message. If you’re looking for action, using a body shot that meets Grindr’s photo rules makes sense. Don’t use photos with multiple people; it causes confusion of which person you are and honestly, no one wants to see your fag hag (does they even know you’re using them on a hook-up app?). If you’re taking a photo in a mirror, clean the mirror first. It’s also annoying for people to have to ask you to send them photos, especially when yours is not clear. Use a photo that is recent too, because let’s face it, when you meet up in person, you better look like your photo, otherwise it’s going to be awkward for both parties.
- Always Respond – When someone says Hi, say hi back. You wouldn’t walk down the street and ignore saying hi to someone if they greeted you. The same rule applies, even if they are not your type. A quick, “Hi”, followed by a “How’s it going?” will go a long ways. Remember, this is social media, be social!
- Be Respectful – If you are not interested, just be upfront with the other people “Sorry, not interested” is perfectly acceptable. If their profile says they are looking for an LTR, it’s probably best not to ask them right away if they want to hook up.
- Use the Block Feature – It’s completely acceptable to block people. If you are not interested in the person, block them so they don’t message you and waste your time, and you can load more profiles of people that you could be interested in. It saves you time, and reduces pointless conversation. Grindr is all about connecting with people in the local area quickly; so if you aren’t interested, get them off your timeline and be productive with the people are you are interested in.
- Start a Conversation – Don’t just say “Hi” and hope the other person responds. Make the conversation engaging. “What are you up to today” is a great way to get the conversation flowing. Be social.
- Timely Responses – Get back to people right away. It’s a mobile app and like other forms of social media, response time is important. Being location based, people are moving around quickly. People could be travelling through your area on transit, in a coffee shop, or at home relaxing. You don’t know their exact situation. It’s rude to leave Grindr on all night while you’re out at the bar or with friends and then come home to answer a flood of messages from other people who are already offline. It’s social media, be social.
- Multiple Devices – It’s completely acceptable to have Grindr on multiple devices, after all, we are mobile, as are our devices. If you have Grindr on multiple devices, either sync your Grindr accounts, or at the minimum, at least have the same basic profile information. It’s awkward for other users to message you on multiple accounts if they do not know you are the same person. It’s also deceitful.
- Tell the Truth – There’s no need to lie or be dishonest. Just be yourself. For example, use your true age. If you shave a few years off your age and then your true age is revealed at a later date, you’ll look like a jerk. If you’re married and tell someone you are single, you could be putting someone in an ethically compromising position. You don’t need to tell your entire life story either. For example, if you are recently broken up, lean on a friends shoulder to cry on; guys on Grindr aren’t interested and will likely get you blocked faster.
Have fun out there. If you do decide to meet someone from Grindr, remember to use your common sense and basic Internet safety rules, like meeting in a public space and not giving out too much personal information.
Do you have helpful advice for other Grindr users? Please leave your comments on this blog post and help others get the most of our their Grindr time.