This article was published on July 7th, 2013
For those that travel a lot, some of these things will totally resonate! If you don’t fly that often, perhaps pay close attention so you don’t make these mistakes and have good etiquette for your travels.
- Don’t bring stinky food on board.
- Chill out and listen to music. Enjoy yourself. I’m often found dancing around in my seat on the plane. I don’t care that you’re trying to sleep beside me. I paid for my seat and I’m going to enjoy it.
- Have a drink. Why the hell do you think they serve vodka on the plane? You’re on vacation. Enjoy it. Might as well have a few cocktails. Step it up a notch by practicing true mixology and have the cabin crew help out with providing some mixers… cause vodka soda can be boring. Make it a challenge to come up with the most creative drink aboard the flight. For instance, order a cran-and-soda with a splash of OJ, or a vodka OJ with a splash of Sprite. If you are going to drink, you might as well have some fun with it, right?
- Don’t be afraid to ask to get up to use the washroom. If you need to go, you need to go. Most people are pretty friendly and will get up when you motion to them that you need to go to the washroom.
- Don’t be a seat swapper. I don’t care that you realllllly want to sit together. If you are travelling with someone when you’re checking in to your flight, get seats together, or better yet, stop being so cheap and pay for the upgrade when you book so you can choose your seats to be together. The last minute shuffle on the plane when the crew is trying to get ready for takeoff is a bitch.
- If you’re sitting beside a child be mindful that airplanes are public, so act accordingly. Don’t watch gay porn on your iPad or laptop. It is however appropriate to write a love letter to your boyfriend.
- If you take the aisle seat, be aware that it is your duty to let the others in the row out when they need to get up. Acknowledge this before takeoff to everyone in your row. “Hey, if you need to get up, just ask”. Don’t be the person that takes an aisle seat and then fall asleep for the entire five hour flight; that’s just bitchy.
- Get your shit organized and don’t over pack. I’m tired of getting on airplanes when people bring everything, including their kitchen sink in their carry-ons. C’mon people. Get organized already; it’s just a flight. Have prepared the few items you’ll need at your seat when you are packing that carry on at home or in the hotel. Music, headphones, book, and a laptop – that’s all you need. You don’t need your curling iron, make-up bag, last nights used underwear and whatever other crap your lugging with you. Get your bag into the overhead compartment, sit down, and stay within your seat area.
- Hitting the Cabin Crew button is douchey. Don’t do it. You know that everyone on the plane is staring you down. If you want another vodka, just get up and go to the back of the plane and purchase one. Don’t make a big scene. You’re not that important.
- Pay attention. Don’t be the dumb ass that refuses to put away your laptop or turn-off your iPhone. I’m tired of hearing the flight crew telling people to take off their headphones for departure / landing, to put up their tray-tables, and to put their seats in the upright position. We’re all adults here. You know that as soon as the cabin door closes you need to power down all you’re electronics and prepare for takeoff, and that when the plane starts to slow down and descend that it’s time for landing.