This article was published on July 10th, 2013
Certainly no one said that being the parent of a gay son is easy. Sure, you’ll have a lot of your own emotions to deal with, especially when your son first comes out. Over time it gets easier. It’s important to really understand the gay community if you want to be an awesome parent of a gay son. Here’s how:
- Ask the right questions. Face it, you’re not expected to know all the answers to your questions, and you will have questions. Rather than having burning questions, talk about them openly with other parents of gay sons, do online research, and get informed. It’s your responsibility. In otherwords, if you have questions about gay sex, Google it, don’t ask your son, unless you have a relationship that would warrant that kind of question being asked.
- Don’t make it awkward. Asking questions about your son’s love life isn’t cool. If relationships are something you both equally, openly talk about, then cool. If not, leave it alone.
- Show your love. Don’t just say you love your son, no matter his sexual orientation; show it! Make an effort to be part of the LGBT community by joining the local PFLAG chapter or volunteer for a youth organization.
- Show your pride. Pride isn’t just for gay men. It’s for the entire LGBT community, including friends, family and allies to all come together to celebrate. Join the parade, attend the festivals, and be active. By attending Pride parades and festivals with your child, it validates that you support their sexuality and embrace the community. It’ll also help ease your own fears and anxieties by understanding that the gay community is diverse, fun, and welcoming.
- Don’t be embarrassed. The worst thing a parent of a gay son can do is to be embarrassed to say that they have a gay son. Be proud! There’s nothing wrong with having a gay kid. You didn’t do anything wrong. If someone else has a problem with your own child being gay, that’s their problem, not yours! If you do hear someone talking negatively about the gay community, speak up! The least you can do it stand up for your son’s sexuality and help put an end to hate.
- Stop worrying. Just because your son is gay doesn’t mean he’s guaranteed to get HIV/AIDS and will get gay bashed every time he goes to a Pride event. The gay community is very supportive and times are changing; perhaps it’s time your views catch up to 2013.
- Don’t pressure your child to come out. If you suspect that your child is gay, don’t ask them outright if they are gay. All you’re doing is putting up barriers for them and making it more awkward. Your son, if he is gay, will come out when the time is right for him.
- Learn the correct terminology. Go look up on UrbanDictionary or Google to understand terminology like the differences between transsexual, transgendered, and transvestite.
- Don’t stereotype. Hate is spread through stereotyping. The gay community works hard to breakdown those tough barriers. Don’t be part of the problem.
- Understand that the gay community is diverse. From bears to twinks, power bottoms to circuit kids, to drag queens and old queens, there are many different types of gay people and each identify individually. Knowing and understanding the gay community and terminology is key.
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