Selfish Sex

  We’ve all had bad sex. Encounters that are better left forgotten. But what about selfish sex? Pleasuring your partner is half the fun, but when all your hard work isn’t repaid, you’re left hard, frustrated, and unsatisfied. Sex should be an equal chance for all those involved to bring their partner(s), screaming and clawing, […]

Love + Sex Great Sex Jace Payne

This article was published on October 26th, 2014

 

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We’ve all had bad sex. Encounters that are better left forgotten. But what about selfish sex? Pleasuring your partner is half the fun, but when all your hard work isn’t repaid, you’re left hard, frustrated, and unsatisfied.

Sex should be an equal chance for all those involved to bring their partner(s), screaming and clawing, to blinding heights of sexual nirvana. If that’s not happening, then someone need to get their act together. There are times when one partner enjoys a particular act—rimming, for example—and the other doesn’t. When this happens, you have to learn to compromise, or find out other ways to make your partner’s toes curl.

Compromise is a good thing, and worthy of a try, at least once. Going back to rimming, some are turned off at the thought of licking ass, and that’s understandable. However, if you haven’t tried it, or are turned off by past experiences, then you aren’t giving it a fair chance. We’ve all had bottoms that weren’t properly cleansed, but you can’t allow one gut-wrenching experience sour your on eating ass for the rest of your days.

Each partner is unique. The ass in front of you now might be round and utterly delectable, but you won’t find out because of another person’s hygienic failure. Try throwing your inhibitions aside and dig in, see if you really don’t enjoy it. You never know—you might find that you have a hidden craving for ass. The same goes for other sexual acts, like what position you prefer, top or bottom. Versatility allows you to double your pleasure. There are some things a bottom experiences that a top can’t. You can massage the male G-Spot from the outside, but nothing compares to having it worked from the inside.

This area is tricky, as most of us have incredibly tight assholes. Try anal play to start, if you aren’t used to having something inserted anally. At first, try fingers or small toys, either alone or with your partner, or both. Allowing your partner to join you in new exploration is a way to bring you closer together, and it allows you to develop new sexual chemistry.

Versatility is a topic for another day, but the point is that you must remember that sex can’t be one-sided. Your partner deserves to be pleasured as much as you do. The last thing you want is to leave your partner feeling left out. If you’re in a committed relationship, this could lead to issues down the road, and that’s what we want to avoid. Why make sex a chore? Why not make it an adventure instead?

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7 thoughts on “Selfish Sex

  1. sharon maurer

    That was an amazing article Jace. Very informative for everyone. Be sure both of you are getting the pleasures 🙂

    Reply
  2. Princess Q

    as always your writing is insightful and well written. Good work Jace. It’s not really something that I have ever given thought to. But your written word has opened my eyes! Love you work!!

    Reply
  3. Tony

    i wish I had this kind of article back when I was a tormented lover..it takes time to get to a place of compromise .. If you can talk about what is wrong in bed / you have already passed the test.. Some people it takes years.. Know what you want or have an idea/ lay it on the table if it’s bothering you that much. I think all of this leads to a happier world to live in.
    Cheers..
    Tony( nyc)

    Reply
    1. Jace Payne

      It does take time, but so few put the effort in to make their sex life more satisfying, and it doesn’t take much. Talking about what’s wrong is the best way to start, yet people have trouble doing that. Some think it’s not worth the time and energy, others are afraid to speak out about what’s lacking. I am touched that you enjoyed my article. Thank you for your kind words.

      Reply