7 Amazing Foreplay Techniques That Will Blow Your Partner’s Mind

Foreplay is probably one of the most under-appreciated part of sex. It’s often skipped over, or done so poorly that it should have been skipped. Some people just don’t fully […]

Love + Sex Sex Education Jace Payne

This article was published on February 22nd, 2015

Ryan Rose and Brenner Bolton at HustlaBall Las Vegas 2015 main event

Foreplay is probably one of the most under-appreciated part of sex. It’s often skipped over, or done so poorly that it should have been skipped. Some people just don’t fully understand the concept of foreplay, and the number of options they have to pleasure and turn-on their partner. It’s time to open your eyes and see just how much satisfaction can be had before you get deep into the action.


Learning to use your hands is an erotic way to get your partner in the mood. If you don’t know massage, you can find a plethora of instructional videos on YouTube to quickly pick up the basics. There are even some instructional videos geared for gay men, offering tips on how to sexually arouse your partner while working on his tense muscles. For a good massage you will need massage oil, either warming or regular; a sheet you can drape over your bed to keep your good linens from getting stained; music and candles to help set the mood; and of course, your naked partner.


There is an art to kissing, and unfortunately some guys have yet to learn them. A word of warning, most take a bad kiss as a negative omen for what’s to come. Typically a guy who can’t kiss usually isn’t skilled sexually, either. The best way to learn how to kiss is to both practice, and to see how it’s done properly. Try watching videos on YouTube, or porn. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that bird-like pecks or darting your tongue in-and-out are going to get your partner hot-and-bothered. And kissing doesn’t need to be strictly mouth-to-mouth. Try kissing your partner’s neck and chest. For some, these are extremely sensitive areas, and being kissed in those places can make the hills come alive with the sound of music—so to speak.


If you or your partner have sensitive nipples, then it’s a shame to neglect them. Having your nipples worked can result in an intensely euphoric sensation—if done correctly. A simple flick or twist won’t do. Try taking each nipple in your mouth and running your tongue over them. Gently nibble and pull on them with your teeth. Depending on your partner, they might like it rougher. Communication is key here because the area in question is fairly sensitive, what is pleasurable for one man, can be hell for another. Listen to your partner and take note of how they respond to what you’re doing. If your guy does like it on the extreme side, you can always upgrade to nipple clamps, and really make their heads spin.


This bit of foreplay doesn’t require much explanation, but it is often overlooked. Earlobes are sensitive, and gently sucking and nibbling on them is enough to make your partner weak in the knees. When you do this, you can revert back to the tips in the kissing section, and work your way down to their neck, keeping the pleasure constant.


This is probably one of the more controversial areas that you’ll find. Some guys are just not okay with the idea of eating ass—but this is mostly because of inexperience, and preconceived notions about the act that can be quickly dispelled. For the bottom, it is important to be thoroughly educated on douching. No one wants to eat a dirty ass, and this is one of the main reasons that some guys refuse to rim. If you are the one performing the act, take the time to learn how to rim properly so that your partner can experience the true thrill of having their hole devoured. All-too-often guys think that a simple up and down lick is sufficient—it’s not. You need to really get in there with your tongue; nibble on the hole; lick from the taint all the way up your partner’s ass; and try making out with their hole, as if you were kissing their mouth. It will drive them wild.


If you walk into any adult store, you are likely to be faced with a sea of sexual toys that you can incorporate into foreplay. If you like spanking, you can buy a paddle specifically designed to tan your partner’s hide—or your own. There are tons of dildos, vibrators and butt plugs to liven up anal exploration. Whips and handcuffs for those that are more adventurous, as well as nipple clamps, and chastity devices. And don’t forget flavored lubricants that can be used with toys, or for actual penetration and for blowjobs.


Watching porn with your partner can be a way to discover new sexual positions, techniques, and fetishes that you didn’t realize you had. They can teach you how to be more verbal, and help you to become more open with your sexual nature. Porn is nothing to be ashamed of, and should be welcomed into your sex life with open arms. Try building a modest collection of various types of so you can tailor your experience based on different moods. Some days you may feel more vanilla, while other days you may be feeling a little leather. Explore new areas that you might be unfamiliar with. It is the best way to find out what you do and don’t like. And you don’t even have to have sex while watching porn. You can always enjoy mutual masturbation with your partner, which can be just as exciting.

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11 thoughts on “7 Amazing Foreplay Techniques That Will Blow Your Partner’s Mind

  1. Russell

    I disagree with some of Jace’s advice.

    IMHO, before accepting the idea that everything sexual must be explored, go with your gut. Everybody’s different. If you don’t like something don’t do it!

    1. Brian Webb

      Thanks for the feedback Russell. You’re right, these techniques might not be for everyone. I know they aren’t all things I’m into; however, some people aren’t very good at foreplay, or are unsure what to do, or how to do it. These are just 7 ideas Jace presented. There are so many other things that foreplay includes.

      What are your favourite foreplay activities that you’d recommend for others to try? We’d love to hear your thoughts.


      Owner and Editor-in-Chief

      1. Russell


        Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Before replying I searched for a way to send a private message, but upon going to http://www.thehomoculture.com/contact/pitch-me/#sthash.USMJga7r.dpbs it appears that it requires an app I can’t supply. Please email with questions directly to the email address on file and I’ll reply in detail.

        Here I’ll just say that although we probably disagree about various issues I’ve enjoyed getting acquainted with your site. FYI, thehomoculture.com is listed as an escort’s “personal website” in a current Rentboy listing from Vancouver, BC.

        BTW, to me “homoculture” is a more upfront word describing what’s typically called “gay”.

        I’m a loner, not affiliated with homoculture and while I appreciate the male body, don’t pursue typical sexual activities, yet am not celibate. (I’m neither ‘top’ nor ‘bottom’.)

        Homosexual may be a better description of where I’m at than homocultural, but I don’t hide preferences when it’s appropriate to reveal them. I discuss sexual practices and preferences with others only when there’s a reason to, such as with you here.



        1. Jace Payne

          I appreciate you sharing your views. It’s great to hear different opinions, as the ones I have posted don’t resonate with everyone. I hope you will continue being an active reader!

        2. Brian Webb

          Hey Russell,

          Thanks for the quick response. To clarify, HomoCulture.ca is dedicated to covering stories and information about gay life in North America. It’s called HomoCulture because we cover “gay life”.

          I’ve been blogging since 2003, so this isn’t new to me. I’m one of the top gay social influencers in North America, having won many awards and great accolades over the years for my work. Over the past year I’ve brought together a team of contributors who are also passionate about sharing their views, opinions and information about gay culture. We’ve create a robust and dynamic site full of exciting, edgy, and informative content that we are all extremely proud of.

          While the content might not be for everyone, we don’t try to be for everyone. If the content isn’t right for you, you’re certainly not expected to read it, or agree with it. That’s cool with us too. But we appreciate comments from everyone, good and bad. We like that our content stimulates conversation and discussion. That’s the whole point.



          1. Russell

            To Brian and Jace;

            Glad to see your replies. Many thehomoculture.com articles don’t get comments; gotta’ stir things up a bit!

            I see Jace is primarily a writer, the author of a gay erotic romance novel which has received a great majority of positive reviews. Kudos!

            IMHO, articles covering sexual practices and associated issues concerning STD risk factors deserve to be reviewed by public health practitioners before being published.

            If I’d ignored gut feelings regarding what were common practices from 40+ years ago, I’d be long dead. Currently, while deaths from STDs are rare in the developed world, paying for lifelong drug treatment remains a major issue.

          2. Brian Webb

            We get tons of comments, but most of them across various social platforms. Trust me, we get tons of feedback. LOL

            Like any other media source, we don’t claim to be medical experts. If someone wants to shove a lightbulb up their ass cause they think if feels good, that’s their choice. We always recommend that people use common sense and talk to their health care professional if they have concerns or question about their health, sexuality, and well-being.

            There have been so many medical advances, especially in the last decade, that people need to re-educate themselves. It’s not the same situation that we were in 30 years ago during the HIV/AIDS crisis. There are plenty of new tools, guidelines, and safer-sex practices. Ignorance is not bliss. Education is incredibly important.

            Do what’s right for you. Stay within your own comfort zones. And for fuck sakes, enjoy life!

          3. Kevin Moroso

            Hey Russell
            I’m not sure if you read my recent article on who is a good candidate for Truvada as PrEP, but I’ve ensured I’ve provided links to credible sources of information and advised that it is an issue people need to talk to their physician about. I personally had to educate my own doctor on the drug and it’s use as prevention. Not everyone has access to healthcare providers that understand the specific health issues that gay men face. I hope to provide people with the tools they need to talk to a medical professional about these issues.

  2. Kevin Moroso

    Rimming is essential- even for quick fucks. If you’re not willing to rim? You don’t deserve to top. You’ve got to get that bottom dying for you to enter him before you take the plunge!

  3. Russell

    To Brian & Kevin;

    I fucked twice in my life; one man and one woman. Both were interesting experiences which I’ll briefly cover here. Both were in San Francisco a year or so after the “death of hippie” ceremonies.

    The man was a skinny Mark Wahlberg lookalike who said he recently had been released from prison, where presumably he learned to like anal pleasures, whom I encountered when he was looking for a place to crash overnight. He seemed OK (said my gut), so I told him he could spend the night at my place in the Tenderloin.

    When we got there he asked if I’d fuck him. I was taken aback, never having thought that’s what he wanted. Once I understood, I felt sorry for him. (Yes, weren’t we all naive at one time?) It wasn’t easy but without any protection or preparation (except probably vegetable oil) I rose to the occasion and topped him.

    I don’t remember if I came in him or not, but remember most vividly that when I withdrew there was a small piece of shit on the head of my cock. I cleaned up immediately, successfully resisting an urge to vomit, and vowed never again! He left the next morning and I never saw him again

    My female experience occurred a few months later when a not unattractive young hippie lady (well, girl) asked if I’d do the honors. We had met on Haight St and she invited me to her place which was a fancier room than mine between the Haight and Market St. Once again I rose to the occasion. I knew I was homosexual but wanted the experience.

    Intercourse with her was exactly as I’d imagined it’d be. No thrills and no surprises. Her plumbing was more comfortable than the guy’s back door. (I don’t remember for sure but I think she provided a condom.) I saw her once again after that and then she was gone.

    I have no interest in rimming, topping or vice versa.

    My life has been a mixed bag, I’d be a fool to complain. I’ve been both lucky and shortchanged.

    There have been a small number of significant people in my life. I tend toward serial monogamy with other eccentric folk with whom I relate, but have no qualms about polyamory.

    I know a retired public health physician who specialized in and has been an activist regarding HIV issues and will ask if he’s interested in writing for thehomoculture.com.