This article was published on February 22nd, 2015
Foreplay is probably one of the most under-appreciated part of sex. It’s often skipped over, or done so poorly that it should have been skipped. Some people just don’t fully understand the concept of foreplay, and the number of options they have to pleasure and turn-on their partner. It’s time to open your eyes and see just how much satisfaction can be had before you get deep into the action.
Learning to use your hands is an erotic way to get your partner in the mood. If you don’t know massage, you can find a plethora of instructional videos on YouTube to quickly pick up the basics. There are even some instructional videos geared for gay men, offering tips on how to sexually arouse your partner while working on his tense muscles. For a good massage you will need massage oil, either warming or regular; a sheet you can drape over your bed to keep your good linens from getting stained; music and candles to help set the mood; and of course, your naked partner.
There is an art to kissing, and unfortunately some guys have yet to learn them. A word of warning, most take a bad kiss as a negative omen for what’s to come. Typically a guy who can’t kiss usually isn’t skilled sexually, either. The best way to learn how to kiss is to both practice, and to see how it’s done properly. Try watching videos on YouTube, or porn. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that bird-like pecks or darting your tongue in-and-out are going to get your partner hot-and-bothered. And kissing doesn’t need to be strictly mouth-to-mouth. Try kissing your partner’s neck and chest. For some, these are extremely sensitive areas, and being kissed in those places can make the hills come alive with the sound of music—so to speak.
If you or your partner have sensitive nipples, then it’s a shame to neglect them. Having your nipples worked can result in an intensely euphoric sensation—if done correctly. A simple flick or twist won’t do. Try taking each nipple in your mouth and running your tongue over them. Gently nibble and pull on them with your teeth. Depending on your partner, they might like it rougher. Communication is key here because the area in question is fairly sensitive, what is pleasurable for one man, can be hell for another. Listen to your partner and take note of how they respond to what you’re doing. If your guy does like it on the extreme side, you can always upgrade to nipple clamps, and really make their heads spin.
This bit of foreplay doesn’t require much explanation, but it is often overlooked. Earlobes are sensitive, and gently sucking and nibbling on them is enough to make your partner weak in the knees. When you do this, you can revert back to the tips in the kissing section, and work your way down to their neck, keeping the pleasure constant.
This is probably one of the more controversial areas that you’ll find. Some guys are just not okay with the idea of eating ass—but this is mostly because of inexperience, and preconceived notions about the act that can be quickly dispelled. For the bottom, it is important to be thoroughly educated on douching. No one wants to eat a dirty ass, and this is one of the main reasons that some guys refuse to rim. If you are the one performing the act, take the time to learn how to rim properly so that your partner can experience the true thrill of having their hole devoured. All-too-often guys think that a simple up and down lick is sufficient—it’s not. You need to really get in there with your tongue; nibble on the hole; lick from the taint all the way up your partner’s ass; and try making out with their hole, as if you were kissing their mouth. It will drive them wild.
If you walk into any adult store, you are likely to be faced with a sea of sexual toys that you can incorporate into foreplay. If you like spanking, you can buy a paddle specifically designed to tan your partner’s hide—or your own. There are tons of dildos, vibrators and butt plugs to liven up anal exploration. Whips and handcuffs for those that are more adventurous, as well as nipple clamps, and chastity devices. And don’t forget flavored lubricants that can be used with toys, or for actual penetration and for blowjobs.
Watching porn with your partner can be a way to discover new sexual positions, techniques, and fetishes that you didn’t realize you had. They can teach you how to be more verbal, and help you to become more open with your sexual nature. Porn is nothing to be ashamed of, and should be welcomed into your sex life with open arms. Try building a modest collection of various types of so you can tailor your experience based on different moods. Some days you may feel more vanilla, while other days you may be feeling a little leather. Explore new areas that you might be unfamiliar with. It is the best way to find out what you do and don’t like. And you don’t even have to have sex while watching porn. You can always enjoy mutual masturbation with your partner, which can be just as exciting.