5 tips and lessons gay men need today to help thrive on dating apps

Whether you use Grindr, Jack’d, Growlr, Scruff, Hornet, or GuySpy, or any other geo-location based app for meeting people, you need to understand the proper way to present yourself, and how to […]

Love + Sex Relationship Advice Jace Payne

This article was published on March 22nd, 2015

Tips and lessons to help your thrive on gay dating apps.

Whether you use Grindr, Jack’d, Growlr, Scruff, Hornet, or GuySpy, or any other geo-location based app for meeting people, you need to understand the proper way to present yourself, and how to behave in order to see positive results. It truly doesn’t matter what you’re on the for—whether it be for sex, friends, or dating—you can’t do whatever you want, and expect guys to flock to you. Pay close attention to the following etiquette tips and lessons, as you may need to revamp your profile on all the dating apps you use, afterward.

First Impressions

This one should be a no-brainer, but countless guys continue to fail, miserably, when it comes to the undeniably important profile photo. Nowadays, people are obsessed with taking selfies, yet this doesn’t mean that they pick the best one to market themselves. First off, the photo you select should be clear, recent, and free of other people. Think about it—would your friends, siblings, or coworkers appreciate knowing that you have their face on your dating profile? And if your photo was taken more than a few months ago, then it’s time to update. If someone agrees to meet you, they expect to see the same person, not a drastically altered version. If you color your hair or shave your head, same rule applies. Try to be as honest and upfront as you can, this will prevent any possible misunderstandings.

Second, save the funny faces for Facebook. If your objective is to attract a guy for sex, or to date, then a simple head and shoulders shot is ideal. Make sure you’re smiling, but not so much that you look like you’ve had a hit of laughing gas. If you are using a mirror, be sure to clean it first. Same goes for your bedroom—if it’s dirty, either clean or go to a different room. We all have messy rooms, at one point or another, but there’s no reason to broadcast it to potential partners.

Mr. Congeniality

How do you sound in your profile text? Do you sound like someone that’s worth talking to, or do you sound like a nit-picky bitch that needs to get off their soap box? When describing what you are looking for, do not use this opportunity to rant about all the things you hate, or how you think people should/shouldn’t be doing. If you aren’t into open-relationships, then fine—but it’s not your place to condemn those for whom it works.

Instead, talk about the things that you like, and what you hope to find. Don’t go into elaborate details, as these usually have a small character limit. Be thoughtful of what you want to say, and don’t rush. It’s hard to get a second chance when someone has already taken the time to read your profile, and it was filled with negative ravings.

Again, simplicity is your friend. You want to give your name, a brief introduction about where you are, and then go into what you’re looking for. It’s also safe to include hobbies that you enjoy, if you have enough room to do so. If there is something that really turns you off, like smokers or drinkers, politely mention that you aren’t fond of these habits. There is no reason to invoke your inner demon to get your point across. That will only make guys pass over your profile, without thinking twice.

Most importantly, take your head out of your ass. Its’ one thing to be confident, but arrogance is a turn off. If you can’t see past your own reflection, how are you supposed to see the beauty in someone else? Embrace modesty, and people will find you more attractive, both from what they see on the outside, and what they see on the inside.

Honesty is a Virtue

To put it simply…don’t lie. If you put up a profile pic, knowing that you aren’t the person in it, do you really think no one is going to find out? And if you are extra delusional and use a photo of a well-known porn star, that doesn’t live anywhere near you, then you’re asking for trouble. For example, Brent Corrigan lives in sunny Southern California—so if he randomly shows up on Grindr in Arkansas, then something isn’t kosher.

Get tested and know your stats. If you need this information from others, then be ready to fork it over should they ask you in return. Both sex and dating are two-way streets, and you can’t expect to move forward if you aren’t willing/able to reciprocate.

Accept Rejection

You can see thirty guys that make your mouth water, but that doesn’t mean that every one of them is going to be interested. If you try to make contact, and you don’t get anywhere after a couple of attempts, then it’s time to move on. It’s not appropriate to badger someone until they are forced to reply in a negative manner—or they block/report you for harassment. If they do reply and tell you they aren’t interested, thank them for being honest, and let it go. Do not take this as your chance to regress to a high school thought pattern and verbally tear them a new one. Just because they don’t want to date, or fuck you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t be friends. However, if you act like Satan incarnate, you’ll blow that opportunity straight to Hell. These apps are for men 18+….so it’s wise that you to act like a mature adult, and not like a pissy child.

Be Mindful of your Words

Proper grammar is sexy. Do not, intentionally, misspell words because you think it’s cute. No one wants to hook-up with someone that can’t spell. Don’t forget the all-important comma and period—endless paragraphs are incredibly annoying to read. Second, when first making contact, try saying ‘hello’ or ‘how are you,’ instead of ‘sup?” This is not attractive, and will rarely get you the response you were looking for.

These rules are not rocket science, but they are necessary. Nothing compares to feeling like you aren’t good enough, but changing the way in which your present yourself could make a world of difference. Take the time to comb over your profile, and pinpoint where you can make positive alterations—and you’ll be amazed at how quickly things will improve.

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One thought on “5 tips and lessons gay men need today to help thrive on dating apps

  1. Tinder Dating app

    I don’t like gay dating. Even though gay men love to label everyone, they despise being labeled. Your information is right and specific.