This article was published on April 26th, 2015
The art of dating isn’t complicated. But, in order to succeed, there are some guidelines that can make it less painful, keeping you from curling up with a sad movie and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Follow these daging tips, and watch your romantic life blossom.
If you aren’t able to love yourself, you can rest assured that no one else will, either. How could they? The bulk of their time would be spent trying to make you feel better about yourself. While relationships are about helping each other, there is only so much a person can deal with. Nobody wants to date a project.
You don’t have to enjoy being single—but you act as though it’s the end of the world. This leads to desperation, poor decision making, rash behavior, and no second dates. You may find yourself lowering your standards, going for guys that aren’t your type. Another scenario involves a date with a man that is your type, but your insatiable hunger for commitment sends him running in the opposite direction. In order to be good at dating, you need to be okay with being single. That will keep you from slipping into that crazed mindset that can turn a good prospect into a bad memory.
Explore Different Avenues
Spending too much time searching for Mr. Right at your local dance club? Sadly, that’s probably not the best place to hunt for anything long-term. It’s not impossible, just unlikely. Try exploring places where you’re more likely to find the kind of guy that interests you. For example—not to be taken too literally—if you’re looking for a baseball player, don’t go to a golf course. So if you aren’t looking for NSA sex, be mindful of where you’re focusing your search.
Embrace Casual Sex
Unless you have strict rules against non-committal sex, there’s no reason why you can’t have a bit of fun while you’re dating around. Masturbation gets boring—so if you find a particularly hot guy looking for a little sexual healing, why deny yourself the pleasure?
Open Your Mind
We all have types—the kind of guys that make us pop a tent in our pants. But avoid being overly specific, to the point where you miss out on a great catch because he didn’t meet your criteria in every way. Be flexible, allow your ‘type’ to evolve.
Master Dating Apps
Gay dating apps are notorious for being filled with fake profiles, conceited assholes, and minors pretending to be of legal age. However, you can still find quality guys—sometimes. Before you download Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, Hornet, etc., you should learn how to properly portray yourself to potential mates. For example: picking the right profile photo, how to handle rejection, and how to talk, which is a skill some guys don’t possess.
If you have a friend that insists on introducing you to someone—unless you are super confident that you can find a guy on your own—take a chance and see what happens. You never know, it might turn out better than you think. Blind dates have a bad reputation, due to the high number of horror stories. Don’t let those deter you, since there are equally as many good stories…but those never get told. People love hearing about the nightmare scenarios.
Dating takes time. It’s not like in the moves, where the protagonist is happily walking down the street, and just happens to ‘bump’ into the love of their life. Honestly, some people do meet their other half right out of the gate—but for everybody else, it’s going to take a minute. If you don’t seem to be having much success, don’t give up. Instead, take a breath and remind yourself that you really won’t find love if you give up. Perseverance is the key to success, and that’s not only a dating rule. It’s universal.