This article was published on September 21st, 2015
A multitude of global studies have suggested three out of five same-sex couples have met online. You’ve probably doubted that you would find someone you could build a long-term, meaningful relationship. Similar to other hordes of men in the gay community, you have probably turned to geo-location apps like Grindr, Hornet, Jack’d, and Scruff, to pursue men for dating, friends, or the occasional hook-up.
Most of these apps are abundantly filled with gay men obsessed with instant sexual fulfilment and rarely want the kind of relationship that’s lasting and genuine. Attached friends often recounted how they met their significant other when they least expected it. With this reality you question yourself on the guys you’ve dated and hung out with whom you thought had serious potential to be someone meaningful in your life.These men always turned out to either simply be friends or you’ve stopped communicating, or gave a bizarre excuse why it couldn’t continue. The challenge for hopeless romantic men can’t help but yearn for something greater, something true and something long term. The hopeless romantic personality is often easily emotionally attached or excited but sadly often disappointed.
Ever since coming out, you’ve deeply desired and pursued the dream of having a long-term partner who wasn’t another date or random hook-up. While you’ve had some phenomenal romantic encounters and experiences, they end in strong friendships. Wine nights with besties help to suppress the aggravation and loneliness. You look for that time when you can truly be content and happy being single.
By making changes in your life, from something small like watching your diet, or something big like moving to a new city, these changes are purposeful and fulfilling. You being to start enjoying and loving life again, without basing your life happiness on dating statues. At least that’s what you think.
Even after being single for what feels like an eternity, and living in a neighbourhood filled with insatiable men wanting to experience dates and have fun, game for whatever comes their way, the most unexpected experience takes place. You meet an amazing, deeply talented, and fun guy, whom you expected to enjoy nothing more than a casual evening of interaction. Instead, the romantic encounter blossoms into a relationship. You realize then, that you should have listened to your friends many, many months ago.
In the spirit of giving, here are some bits of encouragement and hope in these three top tips for online dating:
- Above everything else, please, embrace the real you. Never change who you are because you want to find someone who loves every part of you, including all your special quirks, no matter how vile, irrational, or murder-inducing.
- Have a zero expectations outlook when you meet new people. Even hopeless romantics will believe this to be a challenge, even during the best of times, you should still try your hardest.
- If you find a man who is serious about long term, do yourself, your fragile heart, and Prince Charming a favour; delete social apps that involve dating or sex, so you can focus on the real possibility in front of you.
Good luck out there!