Can gay men be monogamous?

No, gay men cannot be monogamous. Don’t believe it? Gay men are notorious for getting bored easily. Love and commitment are very cute and adorable ideas, but in all honesty it just isn’t something that tends to be conducive to the gay lifestyle. We are all capable of loving someone else and love can be […]

Love + Sex Relationship Advice Chris Mason

This article was published on October 15th, 2015

Can gay men be monogamous?

No, gay men cannot be monogamous. Don’t believe it?

Gay men are notorious for getting bored easily. Love and commitment are very cute and adorable ideas, but in all honesty it just isn’t something that tends to be conducive to the gay lifestyle. We are all capable of loving someone else and love can be 100% completely forever, sure. Get real though. Think about the last time you felt that you could say you were really, in love. You can’t say for certain you didn’t let your eye wander at a hot guy passing by in the airport, check out another cute couple out at the bar, or log on to Grindr to see who was online. It is just our nature as humans. It doesn’t make you a bad person.

Gay men are attracted to other men. If you see a sexy guy while you are walking down the street it’s natural for you to have that moment where you briefly imagine that person with his clothes being torn off and him penetrating you. You can have all of these feelings and still love your partner. Real love should be you and your partner understanding these attractions are natural and understanding each other to the point that it doesn’t matter. That your love is stronger than just your physical desires.

The physical attraction doesn’t have to translate into a personal connection. There’s nothing wrong with just sex. Perhaps on a random Thursday night you felt like you wanted to suck a strangers cock. No harm done. You still love you partner. You just wanted something new for a moment. A little excitement. This can be a tough pill to swallow, but it can greatly enhance your deep relationship with your partner and give you a much more realistic chance of making this connection last for the long run.

You might find this makes things more interesting and you both learn new and fun things you enjoy can share together. We can’t pretend like we don’t have natural human emotions. Sex is physical and feels good. Making love is where the deeper connection comes into play. It can even be as simple as incorporating a new toy to have fun with together. Some of the happiest long term couples are those with open relationships.

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One thought on “Can gay men be monogamous?

  1. Roy

    This article is ridiculous. Nothing wrong with an open relationship if two people desire that. But there is also nothing from with a monogamous relationship. When love, affection and attraction to the other person is so strong you can easily step over those flashes of lust. Maybe because you want each other to be exclusive for each other. Maybe because you prefer making love above anonumous sex.
    I think every man (gay or straight) has a radar for nice looking flesh, however not every man has to give into those signals to be happy.
    During my relationships I’m always happy to be monogamous even when celebrating 10 years together.

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