Are you a second stage gay?

Welcome to the fabulous world of being a second stage gay!

HomoCulture Brian Webb

This article was published on August 30th, 2016

You’re outgrowing your twink phase of top 40 dance clubs, but aren’t quite ready to retire to a life of cheese and wine parties at home just yet. You’re still young and in shape, but want to flex those muscles and showcase your more mature side in a different social setting. You know you’re ready to start going with an older, but not old crowd. Welcome to the fabulous world of being a second stage gay!

Second stagers are those who are ready to move away from the bright lights and fresh faces of the twink scene, and take that additional disposable income to a slightly more upmarket location. Admittedly, these scenes are slightly lacking in many gay villages around the world but in the majority of big cities, seek and you shall find your second stage venues!

The world of twinks is a perfect place to forge your gay persona, a sub culture focused entirely on youth. It’s a great place to develop, and become comfortable with, your gay identity and learn to accept yourself while finding your place in the community. However, by definition, the twink scene is a place for the young and youthful, or those seeking out the young and youthful. What happens when you outgrow this stage of your gay career? When you are too old to be a twink?

You move on, that’s what! No one wants to be the sad gay trying desperately to hold on to his twinkdom when his crows eyes and stray greys betray the truth. So pack up your skinnies, put away the cheap and questionable drinks offers, hang up the Abercrombie, and move into your second stage.

The second stage world is one that focuses on the higher quality experiences. With maturity comes a desire to spend a little more on enjoying the finer things in life and second stage scene venues reflect this desire. You still want to be out and about socialising and meeting new people. Second stage by no means translates as being ready to retire from the scene. It means you’re ready for an upgrade, to a more sophisticated scene. One where the drinks are fine wines and whiskeys, the music is background to the socialising, and the focus is no longer youth and partying, but conversation and a slower enjoyment of what the scene has to offer.

Moving on from your twink life can be difficult. In a sub culture that highly prioritises youth and youthful appearance it can be frightening to accept that this period of your life is over. But what awaits is truly wonderful. Becoming a second stage gay carries with it the luxury and elegance of a higher quality environment. The ability to really slow down and enjoy what you consume and where you consume it, it embodies everything social about twinkdom but with mature and responsible crowd you can relate to, and one whose needs and desires are more in line with your own. Growing up doesn’t mean the end of your youth; it means the start of a whole new stage!

Are you a second stage gay?

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