10 things you should never expect from a gay dating app

It's time for a reality check.

HomoCulture Lil' Poundcake

This article was published on November 15th, 2016

Dating apps aren’t everything people make them out to be. Gay men heavily on them with anticipation of finding a quick hook-up or a long-term relationship. The harsh reality is, most go in with their expectations set way too high. It’s time for a reality check on what you should never expect from a gay dating app.

  1. Friendship: if you want a friend, go to a coffee shop; join a club. Figure it out. App’s like Grindr and Adam4Adam will not cater to that need. Get real.
  1. A relationship: It’s safe to say if you want a relationship, you’re not going to get it from a man 2.7 miles from you. It just isn’t going to work. Those are hook up apps and if your profile is trying to be some miraculous cover up like “Not looking to see your dick” stop lying to yourself. You do want to see his dick. And please, save the ol’ “But I did have a relationship out of meeting a guy on here”… it’s old.
  1. Equality: Don’t expect some kind of race equality on a gay app. They are predominantly run by white males and white males usually want white males. So if you’re a Native American that’s 35 and average looking, don’t expect a bunch of hits. But if you work out, have a physique like a god, and you barely look Native American, you might have a chance. There are exceptions is if you’re hot. But if you’re not, you better be white.
  1. Privacy: Don’t expect to put your dick pic and face pics out there and not have some petty and immature gay blast you and say, “Look who I found on Grindr.” The irony is “he” was on Grindr as well and there’s no shame in looking for a hook up. Just don’t act surprised when the shit hits the fan.
  1. Condom wearing: Most of the men on these apps do not use protection and will ask if you can cum inside them. Most, even though they deny it, find this hot. And many have unprotected sex. If you are 1 mile away from this guy, so are many other guys. Decide what’s right for you.
  1. Matter of fact profiles: Being a bitch on a gay app will not suddenly put some sense into anyone just because you have common sense. When you start your profile like, “Please! If you don’t have a pic, don’t even bother,” because it makes you sound like a pretentious asshole and you’re some type of amazing catch. If your profile says, “Not looking for a hook up so don’t ask” is a conundrum of epic proportions. If you were looking for something else, you wouldn’t be on there, so don’t play the saint now.
  1. You send pic first: How about you get off the app? It’s a hook up site which means you will eventually be seen by the person you’re trying to hook up with. Don’t think the person you’re hooking up with can’t snap a pic of you or record you. So if you’re trying to keep a secret, this is not the place to do it.
  1. Being a dick: Chances are, the ones that are constantly a dick on a gay app are the ones that get around more because they’ve basically cut the fat from their options. They think they are God’s gift to the world. If there are hot guys in your vicinity, chances are he’s already fucked all of them. When you see, “If I don’t respond, don’t feel bad, you’re just not my type” then understand he’s really saying, “You’re so lucky because if you were hot to me, I’d give you an STD in a heartbeat.”
  1. Block button: You might not want to be so uptight about the “block button. ”You are after all part of the community. Even if you’re visiting a city, it’s a small world and gay people know gay people. If you don’t like someone, there’s no need to be rude or be an asshole. Just keep it moving. If you’re blocking people eventually you’ll see them out and they will think you’re conceited and elitist. If you consider yourself those things, carry on.
  1. Are you cumming or what?: One of the rudest and most annoying thing people do is bait and switch. If you don’t have any intention of hooking up with someone or meeting up, don’t lead them on and bail at the last minute. People do it on a daily basis. Keep it real. If you don’t want to meet the person, don’t waste your time, or theirs.

Now that you know the 10 things that you should never expect from a gay dating app, how are you going to change your behaviours and expectations? Leave your comments below.

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