This article was published on May 4th, 2017
There are some misnomers running around about gay culture, gay sex, and gay life. It’s time to dispel the myths on what it means to be gay, correct the misinformation, provide some advice on the best way to handle new ideas, and help people realize being gay is not so different from the heterosexual world. Ladies and gentleman, the library is open. It’s time to dispel these 10 gay culture myths so everyone can get a better understanding about gay people and gay culture.
- Being gay has nothing to do with pedophilia. Nothing! Gay people are only interested in other gay adults who want to have consensual sex. Pedophiles have a mental disorder making them attracted to children. That is a huge difference. There is nothing consensual about adult on child sex. Just like straight people, gays are appalled by and do not condone pedophilia. No one wants to see children sexual touched, abused, or exploited. They are children. Meanwhile, gay men are attracted to men. Often big masculine, muscular men. And women. But adults. Only adults. Pedophilia is not ok.
- Not all gay relationships have penetrative sex. Straight people think all gays ‘like it in the butt’, but there are many gays that only participate in oral, or only like to ‘put it in the butt’ (because anal sex hurts if you don’t know what you’re doing). And just because there is no penetration, does not mean it wasn’t sex.
- Gay men (and women) clean out before anal sex. It’s dirty and no one wants to talk about it, but gay sex often has to be a planned event where the partners give themselves enemas to guarantee the anal sex is mess-free. Nobody likes poo: it stinks, its gross, and it has no place with sex. The receptive partner often cleans out to feel better about knowing he is provide a safe passage for the top. It’s not cute, but a fact in gay relationships is fecal matter has to be removed before sex.
- Not all gays are tops or bottoms. It is a common misconception that all gay men either like it in the butt or that have one specific role all the time. Though most have a preferred or desired position, there are plenty, especially in relationships, that like to switch it up by exchanging roles between who is the dominate and submissive.
- The more masculine one isn’t always the top. In fact, it’s not unusual for the more effeminate one in the relationship to be the top out of the two. Whether the bottom feels the need to be more masculinity because he takes it in the rear, or he butches it up to over compensate and attract other guys, there is an often-common denominator of queenier guys being tops and the machos being bottoms.
- Not all gays are into BDSM and kinky sex. Gays have sex virtually exactly like straight people do: missionary, doggie style, oral, making out, the works. Let’s not start by denying that you have anal sex as well, just like gay people. Straight people seem to like the ass almost more than gay guys: it’s in your songs, pictures, videos, and art.
- Gays aren’t all promiscuous sluts. There are plenty, such as the lesbians, who want nothing more than to be monogamous with someone. All joking aside, most guys want that too. Gay relationships are just as tough to maintain and manage, just like str8 relationships.
- The terminology is easy, once learned. Gay men prefer boyfriend, husband, your man, or spouse over the term ‘partner’. Two men getting married are ‘the grooms’ and two women marrying one another are ‘the brides’. It’s also very common to see ‘man of honor; and ‘best woman’, typically inverted roles at straight weddings, even.
- Not all gays are artsy fartsy. A lot of queens watch football, pound beers, and bro it out as much as the next guy. Sure, a majority might be more adept to see cultural arts, but that doesn’t mean gay men also don’t like manly things. There’s a balance.
- Gay men want the same things. Most gays want to find someone to settle down with and marry as much as you do. Many gay men want children, a home, and the same dignity and respect as the next person. It’s not about wanting special treatment. Just to feel normal and to live in peace.
Dispelling these 10 gay culture myths is important for the gay community. Sexual orientation isn’t a choice; gay men were born this way. While in many cases gay men do not fit into the heteronormative world, there are still many commonalities. May men have morals, dignity, and ethics, and command respect. Of course, the LGBT community loves and appreciated all the allies who love, embrace, and advocate. Education is key, and knowledge is power.