This article was published on September 19th, 2017
Sure, you could download and install one of the many geo-location based ‘dating’ apps, but what happened to meeting guys the old fashioned way? The way gay men have been meeting each other for years. It may seem daunting, but picking up guys in person is really hot. Leave your fancy new iPhone X at home and get a guy to come home with you, like a real man does it: picking up mano y mano. Here are 8 tips (and tricks) for picking up a hook up in public.
- Be assertive, not aggressive. Guys respond positively to assertiveness. It’s hot when a total stranger gives you a compliment or a cute guy comes up to you to chat.Often stepping up and being the man–initiating the conversation, can go a long way. With the increase use of technology, guys have become shy to go up to and talk to one another, and it’s the bold one that is able to bring home the trick. Don’t be an overly aggressive asshole. If someone says no, listen and respect it. Aggressiveness isn’t cute. Assertiveness, going after what you want in a positive manner, is.
- Be you. Trying to fulfill the foil of someone else is not gonna get you the guy. If you’re dorky and into all this science, own it! Nerds are hot guys that more than often support themselves, financially. You’re the strong silent type? Be strong and maybe not so quiet, but guys do dig a certain air of mystery when meeting new people. The best card you can play in the game of life is staying true to yourself and being the best you that you can be.
- Be prepared to face rejection. While we often associate fear and negativity with rejection, sometimes a swift and firm ‘no’ can be the best thing said. If someone tells you ‘no’, it is probably not going to work with the prey you are sex-hunting. You can either embrace the ‘no’ as a challenge and persist upon trying to win that guy over or take it as the sign it most likely is that the dude is just not interested. And that’s ok! Hasn’t there been plenty of guys that you aren’t interest in? A job that you wanted and weren’t selected for then a better opportunity came along? Rejection, though painted with a nasty reputation, can be a great thing. There are way worse things than being told no.
- Be positive. Try not to find common ground with someone by mutually bitching with him about something. Trying to make them laugh is one thing, but sharing negative banter can lead to more negative banter. And eventually, that shit gets tired real fast. Nobody likes a negative Nancy. As your mom used to tell you: if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it. The same goes for picking up guys: take the high road.
- Be optimistic. Not every visit to a bar or friend’s house party is going to yield your newest sexual conquest. Don’t necessarily think that your future Prince Charming is waiting for you around every bend. But so be open to the possibilities. The old adage of ‘just when you aren’t looking, someone comes into your life’ can be very true. Be positive and open minded in regard to finding someone, just don’t expect it.
- Be realistic. Just because you showered, got dressed up, and are looking your best does not mean you are guaranteed to be successful on your quest of getting laid. That 6’3”, 210lb dripping in muscle hunk may be the man of your dreams, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you two are a match made in heaven just because you can’t stop starring at him. Also, don’t think that the one you’re taking home is necessarily going to be ‘the one’ or even work out to anything more than a hookup. You did, after all, most likely meet at a bar.
- Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. While it is great to be present and prove that you do have a little red ticker beating inside your chest, doesn’t mean that it is exactly appealing to revealing how sentimental you are or how much of a lover versus a fighter you can be. Again, a little bit of mystery goes a long way. Wait until this guy has proven to be something substantial before you start including deep emotion with your encounters.
- Be patient and don’t give up hope. Not everyone is for everyone, but there is certainly someone out there for everyone. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, but don’t get too discouraged when your suave ways don’t score you big every time. The right guy will come along in due time. But that often just means being patient for him to cross your path. One of these days, a fucking prince is going to drop into your lap, and then—and only then—will you be ready for him to shake up your world.
Now take these 8 tips with you and get out and start meeting some new people. You’ll be amazed at how many guys respond to you when you proactively spark up a conversation, start dancing, or share a moment enjoying cocktails together. It could happen on the bus, on a park bench, or while waiting in a hotel lobby. The world is your oyster, and it’s a big ocean. Go have some fun and try picking up a hook up in public.