This article was published on October 23rd, 2017
At the end of 2017, you can still be fired for being gay in 30+ states, so coming out at work mayn’t be an option for you. But everyone, despite your background or upbringing, should be able to come out to his or her parents. Acceptance can take time, depending on the person. Not all family and friends will immediately be supportive. But if they truly love you, whom you choose to love shouldn’t be a big issue. Here’s how you can make coming out to your parents easier:
- Do it at your own pace, in due time that is right for you. You waited this long, and for some it is decades of hiding your true self. Wait until the moment is right for you.
- You don’t ever have to label yourself. If you are into girls but also guys, that’s fine. Strictly dickly? That’s fine too. Do either need labels? No, not really. Plenty of heterosexual people have had consensual homosexual sex. That doesn’t make them an gayer than it makes you straight. People spend too much time placing labels on one another when not all of us fit into any mold.
- Be true to yourself. You know your family better than anyone on the outside. But you don’t have to sacrifice your integrity for their beliefs. Being gay and coming out will make you feel more whole and complete.
- Practice makes perfect. Coming out can be very nerve wracking, so writing down what you are going to say or practicing with a friend can help relieve anxiety and better prepare you for the big day with the parental units.
- Don’t be afraid to speak your truth. Not everyone is ok with gay people, and not all parents are ready or prepared to hear their baby is different. But stand up for yourself and be steadfast in your coming out. Don’t be afraid to do it.
- Consider your options. If you know coming out with destroy your relationship with your parents, consider whether or not it is worth arguing or not getting along. Coming out to friends is one thing, but your parents can be a different ballpark. Consider their feelings, too, before leaping out of the proverbial closet with them.
- Choose the easiest route possible. A great place and time to confide in your parents is when you are alone with them, having ample amount of time together. Do the process at home and out of public. Sometimes the easiest route is blurting the words out. Other times, it’s writing a letter that you read aloud to them. Whatever you choose, it’s your choice as to how you come out.
- Whatever happens, keep in mind that there are people who love you and support you. We were all made differently to give this world one hellova colorful palate. Your parents should love you, no matter what.
Chances are, they probably already know or suspect that you are gay. Keep this in the back of your mind when coming out to your parents.