Man’s man: how to become a verbal top

You need to know what you're doing in order to become a large-and-in-charge top.

Love + Sex Great Sex Koelen Andrews

This article was published on November 1st, 2017

Gay men want to be submissive in the bedroom. Through heteronormative culture gay men often have to play the role of dominate personalities in their office, work place, and daily lives. It is only natural that many gay guys get off on being passive in the bedroom. Whether it’s the desire to escape from the daily grind or a carnal desire to be on the sub side, having a dominate top who knows what they’re doing is like finding the diamond in the rough. You need to know what you’re doing in order to become a large-and-in-charge top. Here’s what you need to know on how to become a verbal top.

Set a schedule. A good way to dip your toe into the proverbial ultra verbal top pond is by easing into more intense play over time. Take your time realizing the dom you’d like to become.

Take charge. Let your bottom know that you mean business. Assertiveness is always sexy on a man and having a top that is verbal about what he wants is always a great way to start the show.

Learn the lingo. Guys are turned on by dirty talk. Ask your sub if he likes his ass called a cunt, hole, ass, or pussy, and then only use that term on him. Tease his hole and tell him to beg for it. Tell him you won’t fuck him until you hear him begging. Get descriptive with what you are going to do to him and what you want him to do to you.

Don’t hold back. Speak your mind. Submissive guys love when you say what you want and take it. Don’t be afraid to get a little kinky either.

Pick a safe word. If for no other reason that you are guaranteed not to hurt your partner, having a good safe word can put both of your minds at ease of pushing each other too far. Being a good ultra verbal dom requires patience and understanding.

Back down only when the timing is right. Be prepared for your sub to take a little bit of the lead but communicating how he is feeling. Use open communication to realize when to continue pushing boundaries versus when to stop and catch your breath. Even an ultra verbal dom needs a minute or two here and there.

Know your sub’s limits. It’s great to totally take charge over a sexual situation, but it’s even better to verbally ask and acknowledge what your sub partner’s limits are. Pushing someone too far can have disastrous results. Proper communication can lead to one hellova sex session.

Sexting can be key. Texting your sexy messages, known as sexting, is one more way to you can demonstrate how you are a verbal top. Tell him what you are going to do to him when he arrives, and make him drip on your every last text message.

Do you have tips on how to become the ultimate verbal top? What things does a verbal top do that turns your on? Leave your suggestions and ideas below.

Man's man: how to become a verbal top

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