The Lose-A-Guy List

How to lose a guy in under 3 dates.

Love + Sex Relationship Advice Koelen Andrews

This article was published on November 15th, 2017

Some people have absolutely no problem with remaining single. But some bitches are just so thirsty to date someone that they end up serial dating and making the same mistakes in the dating scene over and over again. If you wanna date a man and keep him, try avoiding doing the following list of actions. Otherwise, here is the list of how to lose a guy in less than three dates:

Being on the phone or looking at your screen while anyone is talking to you is rude AF, so the last place you should do so is whilst on a date with someone you like. Do you really wanna lose a guy? Bring your phone everywhere and don’t get off it! Especially on dates.

Never reciprocate attention or communication with the dude. Why would you call or text him back after three messages and five days?! Make him really want you by ignoring him altogether some more!

Talk about your ex and people your boy don’t know constantly. Make sure your new fellow knows just how great your previous relationship was and the extremely high standard you’ve now set for him!

Don’t bother putting any originality in anything you do with your new guy. Be as basic and ordinary as you can. Guys don’t care for variety, uniqueness, or the ability to stray from the heard. Be a lemming!

Hide who you really are until the second or third date. Your manic depressive and obsessive compulsiveness need not be exposed for a while, kind of like your hatred of animals and small children. Reel him in first with your charm, charisma, and big biceps before you show your true colors. Don’t worry: you can change him to accommodate you.

Make the relationship all about you. You are the single most important person in your life, so why go out of your way to make room in it for somebody else. If you’re feeling flexible that day, then maybe you can acclimate to having an extra body around for a while.

Revolve the whole relationship around your sex life. Sex is the most important thing for any couple and if it isn’t perfect right off the bat, what is the point in even prolonging the inevitable break up over lack of mind blowing intercourse? Or you could hit break up with him and keep him around as a fuck buddy.

Cheat on him. Monogamy wasn’t designed for everyone. How many gay couples do you know that have completely closed relationships that have been together more than five years? Didn’t think so.

If you wanna lose a guy in three dates or less, follow the above completely satirical list of idiotic douche baggery above. Otherwise, be a decent human being and have a heart. Don’t cheat. Communicate. Reciprocate energy. Be kind. Be unique. Be generous. Or walk away completely. Just don’t string anyone along or be a bitch to anyone you date. Because karma, dear readers, is a bitch herself!

If you wanna date a man and keep him, there are things you need to avoid doing. Otherwise, here is the list of how to lose a guy in less than 3 dates.

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