How to be a happier gay man

Happiness lies in the small things. Pursue them.

Health Mental Health Peter Minkoff

This article was published on June 23rd, 2018

This article was supposed to start with the lyrics of Pharrell’s “Happy”, but we gays don’t like something that’s outdated, so it’s probably better to skip that introduction. According to a study, being gay is enough to be happy. That definitely is the true meaning of the word, but even though you label yourself as gay, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to strive for even more happiness. We live in a world where big things are expected from us, and in the era of Photoshop and influencing it’s very difficult to meet our own expectations, because we really set high ones for ourselves. However, happiness lies in the small things, and that is why, if you have a goal of becoming a happier and more positive person, you have to think of all the things that make you feel like that and try to pursue them. Here are a couple of tips that will help you in this pursuit for happiness. 

How to be a happier gay man

Focus on yourself

Everything starts with you. Use this opportunity to work on yourself, and try to make yourself happy and not somebody else for a change. If this means going to the gym and trying to shape your body, so be it. Don’t think about all the other things that you have to do throughout the day, and leave work-related excuses behind. You will definitely find a couple of hours per week to work out, and if this really is something that will make you feel better, you should definitely go for it. Moreover, if you think you need more Zen in your life to make you feel more complete, you can always try meditation and yoga. Be certain that it’s OK to be selfish from time to time, especially when focusing on yourself is concerned.


Nothing can make us feel better than hanging out with the people that we love and whose company makes us feel good. That is why organizing get-togethers more often is always a great idea. You can think of a certain theme party, such as a pancake party, barbecue party or even a dinner party where you will serve orange wine and keep it very classy. Talking with the people you care about, laughing the night away and even dancing shirtless with other hot friends can tremendously improve your mood, not only for that day, but the days that follow as well.

It’s OK to be alone

If the reason for your dissatisfaction with your life is connected to the fact that you’re single – please let it go. You definitely don’t need someone to feel validated, and you can use this time to experiment and be with whomever you want (yes, a bit slutty, but what’s bad in that?). If you’re desperately looking for a relationship, the chances of being let down are high, mostly because we all tend to chase guys only based on their looks, and when we’re really into chasing someone, we forget to see the other things that matter – so we usually end up disappointed. So, embrace your singleness and wait for magical things to happen. Don’t worry and don’t stress – it’s OK to be alone.

Don’t compare yourself to other gay guys

If you’ve watched the popular TV show “Queer as Folk”, then you’ve probably realized that it was expected from all gay men to be fabulous, good-looking, fit and have equally fabulous, good-looking and fit friends. This pressure can backfire catastrophically, so it’s very important not to compare yourself to other gay people. You will always find someone who will have a better lifestyle than you do, better abs, bigger guns, whiter teeth. But each one of us has something unique, and after all – you definitely have your gay humour that’s the most precious of all. The beauty lies in being yourself, because why would you be someone else? They already exist.

Being happy is a state of mind – you can have whatever you wish for and still be unhappy with your life. And vice versa, you can have nothing but still be happy with yourself, and that is the thing you should strive for. Not to sound cliché, but happiness really does lie in small things – friends, parties, believing in yourself. So next time you feel depressed, ask yourself why. And then think about all the other people that are in an even worse situation than you are – and feel special. Because you are.

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