5 top-secret tips from the happiest gay couples

Take a lesson or two out of the gay relationship playbook. 

Love + Sex Relationship Advice Peter Minkoff

This article was published on September 12th, 2018

Well, well, what do we have here. According to a study on happiness in relationships conducted by the Open University and published in the Independent, gay couples are likely to be happier and more positive about their relationships than heterosexuals. We’re not gloating, far from it, we wish our heterosexual friends all the happiness in the world, but it’s good to know that that we’re in the lead. All jokes aside, it takes plenty of effort to maintain the happily ever after status. Unlike the movies, real-life relationships don’t stay frozen when the credits roll out. Our lives continue after moving in together, deciding to be exclusive and even after we say our ‘I dos’. So, what is the secret that all couples, regardless of their sexual orientation can stand to learn from gay couples – well, we’re about to let the cat out of the bag, so don’t go anywhere.

Settle down in a relationship

Always spicy

As much as great sex can’t salvage a bad relationship, it can certainly take a toll on an otherwise great one. This is where gay couples are ‘ahead of the game’ compared to straight ones. In general, in gay relationships, partners tend to be more open and frank about their fantasies and general sexual preferences. They aren’t afraid of experimenting and trying new things. Sometimes the other person will love what their partner suggests, other times they won’t, but it’s all about trying everything once. So, if you want a happy life, you better start working on the quality – and quantity – of your sex life.

Policy of openness

In addition to that, some gay couples who simply don’t believe in the traditional notion of monogamy opt for open relationships and marriages, and claim that the transparency of it only makes the relationship stronger. Of course, the concept of an open relationship is not strange to straight couples, but it’s less frequent. According to the surveyed gay couples, the transparency and mutual agreement also removes the possibility of cheating, as when everything is out in the open, there is no loss of trust or feeling of betrayal. Of course, this isn’t the secret to happiness for everyone, but the key is – when it comes to sex and relationship, the only way to make it last and be happy is to be open and synchronised in your desires.

 Make every moment special

Grand romantic gestures are great, but if your daily routine is stale, it’s only a matter of time when a routine will turn into a rut. Most gay couples, especially those without kids, are very committed to making every day special. You should start with a great morning routine – from putting a favorite coffee pod in a coffee machine and having that first cup of joe together, to making breakfast or surprising each other with lunch at work, gay couples make a real effort to stay in touch during the day and give one another as much attention and love on a daily basis. Grand gestures are for movies, small everyday ones are for real-life happiness.

The perks of same-sex

Patriarchy has really done a number on straight couples, and even today in 2018, in most traditional families, even in those where the woman is an equal breadwinner, it is expected that she takes care of the kids, puts the meals on the table and keeps the house in spick and span shape. When you’re in a same-sex relationship, there is no room for outdated patriarchal gender-based division of chores. Everything concerning the house and errands is equally divided among the partners, so neither feels overwhelmed or taken for granted. Feeling appreciated plays an enormous role in the level of happiness in a relationship, and gay couples are true equals, at least in most cases, which eliminates resentment and leaves more room for contentment and joy.

P.S. I love you

As much as actions speak louder than words, words still matter and hearing those magic three words at least once a day makes a world of difference. Yes, sometimes it is that simple – just saying I love you, in the morning, or in the middle of the day over a text, or followed by a mid-sentence kiss can make your partner absolutely ecstatic. In addition to the actual words, there are plenty of other ways to say ‘I love you’, as the happy PJ and Thomas point out. Little things like asking about your partner’s day, offering to prepare them a bath and several other little sentences can sometimes contain more love than the ‘regular’ profession of love, so whether you’re gay or straight, memorize these little sentences and try to use them as often as you can, and utter them as lovingly as humanly possible 

Gay couples may not have all the wisdom in the world when it comes to relationships, but they’re undoubtedly onto something here. After all, they seem to be doing much better in the happiness department, so perhaps everyone could stand to take a lesson or two out of their relationship playbook. 

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