This article was published on March 6th, 2019
If you’re lucky, you’ll end up in a beautiful relationship for the ages until the day you die. But for the rest of humanity, a tumultuous relationship and eventual dramatic breakup is something most people will be forced to endure at least once in their lifetime. When a love relationship ends, you’ll want to walk away amicably to the best of your ability, though sometimes, there just isn’t any way to make a breakup better. Here’s an 11-step guide on how to deal with a bad breakup so you’re able to walk away with your head held high.
Step 1:Try to communicate as simply and as direct as possible. Most arguments are directly sprung from deep levels of miscommunication or no communication at all. You’ll spare yourself and your ex a lot of trouble if you say exactly what you mean and what you are feeling, versus beating around the bush.
Step 2:Don’t get even; get mad. If you spend your time plotting ways of getting back at your ex, you’re wasting too much time and energy on something that isn’t going to bring you any solace in the end. Be mad and sad at the situation for a brief grieving period, but don’t put too much stock and trade in feeling like shit over something you cannot change.
Step 3:Live, learn, laugh, and move on. Fighting, arguing, and breaking up takes two to tango, so examine the actions and mistakes you made and learn from them. Not carrying that emotional baggage with you will help in future relationships with people.
Step 4:Let the little things go, Elsa. You don’t have to be petty about small, insignificant things that really won’t matter in the end. If you can be over feelings of animosity and let go of small things you held dear in your relationship, you’ll be able to move on with a better state of mind.
Step 5:Make a list of all the good and bad parts about your relationship. For the most part in a bad breakup, the bad will overwhelmingly outweigh the good and it will give you a sense of clarity of where things went wrong. You’ll also be given a blueprint for what to look for and avoid in your next coupling.
Step 6:Once you are good and ready, delete delete delete. Get rid of old text messages, change your pictures on social media, and think about potentially blocking them off of your social media. If the breakup is bad, there is no sense in keeping little daily reminders of them around you any longer.
Step 7: Take advantage of your newfound singledom and reinvest in you. Date around. Get laid. Go do things you’ve always wanted to do but felt like you couldn’t while in your last relationship. One of the best ways to get over someone is to hook up with someone else. Another great way is by solidifying the relationship you have with yourself.
Step 8:Make some changes. What was going on in your life with your last relationship just simply wasn’t working. And some of that credit lies at your door step. So, switch it up. Make some simple changes that might end up turning out to be amazing new ways of living for you. Change is the only inevitability in life, so embrace it.
Step 9:Get busy with it. You’re going to have a lot more time on your hands now that you are single and mingling. Pick up a new hobby, go to the gym, or do some volunteer work. Idle hands are the devil’s playground and an idle mind is going to have you thinking about your ex and the terrible breakup you endured much more than it should. Keeping busy doing thing for yourself is a great way to keep your minds off of things.
Step 10:If you’re feeling down and out in Beverly Hills, depressed, overly angry, losing sleep, anxious, or overly emotional, you might be suffering from PTSD from the breakup. If a friend or loved one cannot be there for you in the emotionally capacity that you need, you should seek the help of a professional therapist. You’ll be greatly benefitted by talking out your worries with a counselor.
Step 11: Rekindle old friendships and strengthen relationships with loved ones. You’re going to need your crew and family with you through these hard times. Turn to the ones dearest to you for advice, council, trust, love, faith, and a roof over your head, if need be. No matter how distant you became or how little of a surprise the epic demise of your latest relationship may be, your peops are going to be there for you, no matter what. Because they love you, no matter what.
Try and see this breakup as something positive. Look on the bright side: you are walking away from a relationship that didn’t work. You’re not going to spend a lifetime unhappy as result of this bad breakup. Take what lessons you can from this relationship and move on with the knowledge that mistakes are life’s greatest lessons. This one didn’t work out. It’s time to move up and move on. Thank you, NEXT.