This article was published on July 24th, 2019
You’ve done it. Your days of Mary Ann Singleton-ing are over and you’re finally in a relationship looking to make your own Tales of the City! Kudos to you and your new partner. Now, before you get too carried away in the honeymoon phase of things, it is important to do what you can to ensure your relationship lasts and is as healthy and happy as possible. Here are 10 rules of Gayting that gay couples should follow when dating.
1. Be real. Honesty is the best policy, honey, and keeping things secret or hidden from your partner will only cause resentment later. No matter how dark, shady, or kinky the skeleton in your closet is, let it out and let it be known by your partner. Baring your truth will set you free.
2. Patience is a virtue, sweetie. Dating someone means welcoming another person into your life and daily routines. No one else is like you, and it might take some time, love, tenderness, and patience on your part. Look for a balance and try to breathe out when some small thing irks you.
3. Put yourself first, but then keep your spouse a close second. As the analogy goes, you can’t save someone drowning without having a life vest on yourself and you should always place the mask over your mouth before attempting to help anyone else. The same goes for your relationship. Deal with your own issues, wants, needs, and goals first, and then you’ll be able to combine successful happy lives together.
4. Don’t sweat the small stuff. We all have odd idiosyncrasies and strange habits. Getting caught up on some of the silly personal behaviors of your man can lead to resentment and upset feelings. If you can just let it go, Elsa, you’ll be a happier, healthier gay in an understanding relationship.
5. Meet him halfway. Neither one of you should be putting in the entirety of the work of your relationship. Be sure to meet your man halfway at least, Fergie, with his feelings, wants, desires, and passions. It shows you care, shows you are dedicated, and shows you want to make your relationship work and last.
6. Communication is key. Speak your mind. Own your truth. And communicate when you feel something is amiss or just the opposite. When you’re feeling great and whimsical, let it be known that you are head over heels for this guy. Talking over your problems, goals, happiness, triumphs, and sorrows leads to a better gayting atmosphere.
7. Evaluate your sex and aim to make it the best it can be. Sex is very important in any relationship. Good sex can be the determiner if your relationship is going to stand against the sands of time. The hotter the sex you have, the less either of you will be tempted to stray. Be open, try new things, create an open environment for discussion, and don’t shun your guys’ crazy sexual cravings.
8. Talk about the future but do what you can to live in the now. It’s great to communicate life goals and wants with your partner. An important detail to obtain from them is what they want in the future and what their forecast for your relationship looks like. But, don’t forget to live for today, enjoy the time that you’ve got with them now, and try not to dwell too long on what couldbe versus what isright now.
9. Take your time. Most people are complex presents that take time and investment to really, truly unwrap all of our complexities. Don’t lesbian-in-a-Uhaul-it after a few dates. Take the time and energy to go slow and really get to know who you are falling in love with. There’s no need to race into anything. You’ll be glad your stopped, smelled his roses, and gradually allowed him to take up a solid position in your life versus Speed Racer-ing into anything.
10. Know when to take your relationship to the next level or say goodbye, move on, and separate. Sometimes there are just signs from the universe as to what your next move should be, other times, it takes some deep personal introspection to determine a new move in a relationship. The best way to resolve this is through communicating your wants and needs to your partner, but you’ll have to do some self-exploration, first, to really know how YOU feel about your partnership.
What advice do you have for gay couples gayting? Comment below!