D Is For Divorce

Survival Tips For Gay Divorce

Love + Sex Relationship Advice Triston Brewer

This article was published on March 4th, 2020

After fighting for gay marriage for generations, now another aspect of being formally recognized has come into play in the last few years – gay divorce. Just like their heteronormative counterparts, LGBTQ couples now have to grapple with the issue of dissolving their unions. This includes dividing up property, the parting of assets, and custody agreements for those couples with children. The flip side of love and marriage is divorce and despair; HomoCulture outlines how married couples can prepare and protect themselves through a divorce. 

Being Cognizant of Emotions

When undergoing a divorce, it is important to not let negative emotions lead your actions as the process can open doors to a host of issues that can sabotage the ordeal even further. They include denial, self-doubt, fear, confusion, and anger. None of these feelings will improve the flow of the process and will only exacerbate the divorce. Experts advise those embroiled in divorce to be cognizant of emotions, yet not let them get to the point where they impede what matters most. 

What many gays fail to remember is that divorces are in essence a business, a legal process that involves lawyers, judges, courts, and lots of paperwork. On top of all of these principles, it is also the official end of a marriage and is typically painful in many regards. Working at the height of your emotions during this process will not serve either party well or may actually increase legal fees. Being able to separate emotions as much as possible from the process is not only wise, but cost-efficient. Leave the past in the past so that you can concentrate on bettering your future. 

You Gotta Have Friends

During difficult times, we all need someone to turn to for advice, and divorce proceedings may involve a plethora of people in your life that normally are not even in your vocabulary. They could potentially include mediators, forensic specialists financial planners, psychologists, and divorce coaches. There is no blueprint for this process and the best advice is to create a support team based on your personality, including friends and family members that will be there to help you emotionally and legally. No one wants to go through a divorce, but if faced with the situation, it is best to know what you need and who and how to ask for it. A great game plan will lead to less headaches and heartaches. 

Acknowledging Your Values

Knowing what your core values are is an integral part of a divorce, and for most people those include family, close friends, health – the components are all unique to you and serve as the basis for how you make decisions. Respecting and honoring your core values will elevate your mood and confidence during these trying times and allow you to execute actions in the best manner. 

Make Yourself Proud

There is life after divorce, and it is important to remind yourself that every life has a higher purpose and it will take small steps to create a path that allows you to proceed towards the vision you see for yourself. By focusing on what you wish to receive after the divorce is finalized, your goals and sense of purpose become clearer. 

Final Considerations

If there is any way possible to dissolve the union without courts, then all the better. Many courts offer mediation that opt for no judges, and if you can divide up assets and possible visitation rights without lawyers involved, it is the simplest and the most affordable way of controlling the dissolution of a marriage.


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