This article was published on December 30th, 2020
In online dating, honest communication is one of the critical building blocks in forming a lasting bond with a potential soulmate. Unfortunately, that is not the case nowadays. Outright lies and misrepresentation dominate the current dating scene. From catfishing to lying about one’s relationship status, online daters have perfected the art of white lies to win a potential match’s attention.
Imagine spending lots of time chatting with someone online only to meet them and realize they lied. It’s soul-crushing.
Do you want to avoid the regrets of online dating and tell when your virtual crush is lying? Here’s a look at the most common lies gay guys tell on dating apps.
The chances are that if you are reading this piece and you have used dating apps before, then you’ve lied about your age at some point. A survey conducted by Gay Star News in 2018 showed that one in four gay and bi men don’t reveal their real age on dating apps. They expressed fears of being rejected on the apps because of their age.
A quarter of the 3,000 men surveyed said that they had lied, at least once, about their age when they were on hook-ups. 60% of the respondents opined that the LGBTI+ community is generally ageist as far as dating apps are concerned.
2. Relationship status
“Ohh, you know I’m single,” “Uhm, I’m in a complicated relationship.” These are common phrases that pop up whenever the issue of relationship status comes up. Indeed, most men stretch the truth about their relationship to fit a particular agenda. A good number of them will fake their status to appear single to inform their potential partner of an entanglement opportunity.
If you, however, feel suspicious about his relationship status, go ahead and ask him outright.
3. Appearance/fake pictures
For the umpteenth time, please stop catfishing! We’ve all fallen prey to fake profile pics/identities on the dating apps at some point, people impersonating others to appear ‘more attractive.’
If there’s ever something that ever reeks of disappointment – hooking up with someone only to realize that he is entirely different from what he’d led you to expect. The red flag usually pops in the body shots. If he doesn’t post a full-body photo on his profile, or all the pics are from one angle, tread carefully.
Usually, dating apps will ask for your location to find nearby matches. Depending on the app, some will display your city and approximate distance from your potential partner.
Most guys will lie about their location for various reasons. One could be that they want to attract interest from the other person by letting them know they live nearby. They could also be looking to widen their dating pool since their dating options are limited to the specific area they live in.
If you doubt where he lives, ask him to pin his location or test his knowledge regarding landmarks near the area he mentions.
Money remains an emotive topic on most online dating apps. It’s specially marked when you’re trying to impress a potential match.
Online daters constantly lie about their jobs, to the extent of exaggerating their job titles and salaries when asked. Falsifying information about your career could set you up for problems if you happen to hook up with someone, or enter into a long-term relationship.
So your dating conversation is going on smoothly, and all of a sudden, y’all decide to meet up. But before the date day, he comes up with an excuse; one that is certainly convincing. He either says he fell ill or something came up at work, or worse off, his phone died (well, that’s not entirely convincing).
Online daters tend to lie about their availability to avoid commitment. In some instances, online dates will cease communication with you completely even after giving an excuse, aka ghosting.
7. HIV/AIDS status
HIV status comes off as one of the most sensitive issues as far as online dating is concerned. People avoid disclosing their status owing to the stigmatization that comes with it.
In fact, a survey once conducted on 4,000 gay men by Grabhim.net (a website created by gay relationship advice author Michael Alvear) revealed that 57% of HIV negative guys were unlikely or highly unlikely to engage people whose profiles indicated that they were HIV+.
The survey that sought to gauge the experience of gay men (aged 18-65 years) on dating apps further stated that 43% of the men disclosed their status in their profile, and 90% would reveal it before having sex. A mere 10% of HIV+ men will only reveal their status if specifically asked.