Am I Bi-curious or Bisexual?

How does being bicurious differ from bisexuality? Here’s how to tell where you currently lie on the sexual continuum.

HomoCulture Coming Out Simon Elstad

This article was published on February 4th, 2021

“Am I bisexual or simply bicurious?” If you ever find yourself asking this question, then best believe you are not alone. Whether you are a bit curious or sexually fluid, you belong among a vast majority of people still trying to navigate which of these two terms best suits them.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines bisexuality as the “sexual or romantic attraction to people of one’s same-sex and of the opposite sex.”

However, different bisexuals have different ways of defining bisexuality. They view it from a broader perspective in that it also includes labels such as pansexual, queer, homoflexible, among others. This way, it gives room for more flexibility and fluidity.

In contrast, bi-curiosity is a state where a person is “curious about exploring or experimenting with bisexuality,” according to Merriam Webster’s definition. Simply put, a “bicurious” person is curious about having sexual relations with a person from a different gender than the one they are attracted to.

Picture that moment you’ve fantasized making out with another guy, or you’ve toyed around with the idea of watching gay porn just to get a feel of what it is to ‘taste the forbidden fruit.’ Sounds interesting.

Photo by Jonathan Kemper on Unsplash

Asking questions

As the renowned bisexual activist Robyn Ochs aptly put it, “Bi-curious implies that a person is currently asking questions about their sexuality but doesn’t yet have the answers.” 

Some people who identify as bicurious may eventually switch to being bisexual. In other cases, such people will settle on being gay or straight after learning that they only enjoy sexual relations with one gender.

Being bicurious allows a person to toy around with his arousal before deciding whether or not they want to seek a sexual encounter. However, the attraction or curiosity to more than one gender does not necessarily mean that you will act on it.

Nevertheless, there are numerous ways in which both bisexual and bicurious people differ based on certain aspects. While bisexual people, who constitute more than half of the LGBTQ community, are sexually attracted to both genders, bicurious individuals are curious about considering the prospect of a same-sex relationship or sexual experience.

To lay bare the contrast between these two labels, here is what makes them different:

  • Relationships: Bisexual people are comfortable being in a sexual relationship with people from both genders. However, bicurious individuals do not seek sexual engagement with a person of the same or different gender. They can be attracted to them without necessarily involving any sexual contact.
  • Sexual identity: Most people consider bi-curiosity a phase instead of a sexual identity. The person is merely interested in experiencing how it feels having sex with someone from a different gender. On the other hand, bisexuality is deemed a sexual identity as the person is at ease having a romantic or sexual affair with both genders.
  • Physiological: Bisexual people have an agreeable personality since they know their sexual preferences. Their counterparts often seem disoriented as they have no clear path on what sexuality works for them.
  • Commitment: Speaking of long-term commitments, a bicurious person is more likely to settle with an individual of the opposite gender than one from the same gender. They are only curious about the other gender with whom they’ve had no engagement. In contrast, a bisexual person is likely to stay with his partner in the long run, regardless of gender.

There’s no set timeline as to when you can begin exploring being bicurious. However, you should only go into it once you’ve assessed your actions and weighed the benefits versus repercussions. To help ease your exploration journey, you could start by trying out dating apps. Make your intentions clear on your sexual preferences. You never know what may work in your favour.

Conclusion

Whether you identify as bisexual or bicurious, what matters is that you are comfortable in your own skin at the end of the day, regardless of your sexual identity.

Once you figure out how both labels differ, you are better placed to make an informed decision on who you indeed are. Even as you take time on your bicurious exploration, do not be influenced by other people’s opinions regarding your sexuality. Love and do you!

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