This article was published on June 17th, 2021
When gay men first started dating online, it was a blessing in disguise yet to be discovered. We could finally meet people without worrying about the social stigma surrounding being gay in some parts of the world. But as time has gone on, we’ve seen how much these relationships have changed and began to develop.
Online dating is now more popular than ever, and it’s all thanks to the relationship revolution that began decades ago when online gay dating became a thing. We all know this can be frightening. Still, we often overlook the benefits that play host to this kind of romantic interaction, which often manifests itself as long-distance relationships. Of course, as gay people, we need to be aware of the dangers of dating. Still, we also need to understand that online dating has fundamentally changed our interactions and abilities to find a suitable partner through experiences that have led us to be who we are as members of the LGBTQ community.
We have outlined three beautifully positive stories of acceptance that exemplify why we need long-distance online dating to remain a constant for our community.
From Sao Paul to Rome with Love
Marco and Luiz are breaking borders with their international love story. Long-distance dating has allowed these two to create a lasting connection that would not be possible in Italy because gay marriage is not recognized. Not even the 5,000 miles between them can stop these two from being together. On the contrary, the distance has helped strengthen their relationship, and it’s even made them more potent as a couple because they live life independently on different continents.
This living arrangement forces the couple to know each other on an emotional level, which is the key to long-lasting and happier relationships. Indeed, this change is welcome because it differs from the gay male misogyny that we have all experienced before. This story exemplifies Long Distance Dating as a necessity for gay couples wanting to be together but can’t due to archaic laws still imposed worldwide.
They said We Couldn’t Go The Distance: Tash and Marthe
Mariah’s song outlines the struggles faced by anyone in a relationship. Still, this adorable lesbian couple has shown that internet relationships are possible, and that physical distance and symbolic distance are no match for meaningful relationships.
Tash and Marthe met and fell in love at a surf retreat in Bali and, after three weeks together, knew they were destined to be together. On arrival back to Europe, they decided on a long-distance relationship which gave birth to their blog Breaking the Distance. Their journey is nothing short of incredible, and their bond has already endured hardships. Yet, overcoming them shows that nothing will break them apart.
The internet has invigorated the gay dating scene and transformed it into the area of acceptance and safety that we have come to love and trust for our relationships. This story is the epitome of what can come from a relationship between two people in distant places.
Long-distance Love in During COVID-19
Racism in America affects many people, but the gay community is notorious for further oppressing members within our community which can be seen through the treatment of subcultures within the gay community. This is what brought Sundeep and Sharath together, two gay men living on opposite sides of the USA.
They met on Instagram, and immediately they were infatuated with each other. They talked for hours every night, but as fate would have it, the distance and COVID restrictions made their relationship durable as they had to overcome both racism and limitations for meeting. Long-distance dating allowed two people suffering from multiple forms of oppression to bond in a way that stands the test of time.
Long-distance relationships are essential for the gay community because no gay man needs be alone. Long-distance relationships are important for the gay community because it allows people who do not have the privilege of living in an accepting city or state a chance at finding love and acceptance on their terms.
It is a formative experience, one where you are forced to communicate your feelings through texting, which is not often heard of in the gay community. Our community has negative aspects to dating, but online connections transcend these negatives and act as loyal guides to forming life-long bonds.
Have you been in a long-distance relationship before? Leave your tips and advice for other HomoCulture readers on what things worked or didn’t work in your relationship.