Hookup Culture Fosters Friendships

Hookup culture embraces what it means to be gay and connects us to other members of our community.

Love + Sex Hooking Up Sean Kivi

This article was published on July 21st, 2021

Moving to a new city is a big transition for anyone. If you add being gay into the mix, it can be scary. As gay men, we need to be vigilant of indicators that may lead us to harmful situations. How can we do this in a place that is new to us and get an understanding of the gay culture in the area? Hookups and location-based apps like Grindr or Scruff can connect you with members of the gay community in a new city.

There are many benefits to using a location-based app for making new friends and finding hookups. The first and most apparent benefit is finding a quick fling with people you know lead a similar lifestyle to you.

Hookup and apps for them are a goldmine for finding like-minded people. Suppose you are in Chicago and want to go to a gay bar. If it is your first rodeo, you may not know that Chicago is home to Boystown.

Boystown is a popular Chicago neighborhood in the West Lakeview district. Its main attractions are the annual Pride Parade, coffee shops, record stores, and trendy boutiques on tree-lined streets. It also has more nightlife than other neighborhoods, with comedy clubs and offbeat theaters that draw crowds to its lively cocktail bars and nightclubs.

Hooking up connects you to locals that know the area well, and you can meet them with apps or in person. Using an app makes this much more accessible. You can log on, meet up with someone, and once you meet you can discuss many things or maybe even accompany your date to a coffee or beverage.

Keeping the conversation going is usually the most challenging part of making friends, but if you take the time to talk to your date, you will quickly learn that everyone has a fear of talking to someone new. You have the ball in your court because you don’t know anyone in the area and can quickly move on if the person you are meeting isn’t a good match.

Before you meet up with your date, make sure to plan some questions to keep the conversation going. As long as your date isn’t a dry towel, the conversation should flow if you use open-ended questions. We have all been there, lying in bed after a hookup and wondering why there is silence rather than chatter. Be proactive and use your hookup to make the best of the situation by being prepared to ask about the gay community in your new city.  

It would be best if you remembered that most dating apps can send videos as well as pictures. Using these resources is a great chance to understand who you will meet and gives you a good indication of the person’s honesty. Hooking up is a massive part of our culture, and it was born out of necessity, so rather than shun it, we should embrace it.

LGBT history has grown to include hookup culture out of oppression we face from society. People in the ’60s and ’70s found it much more challenging to find encounters with other gay men. Our community was not as connected before the internet. Now that we have this resource, we should use it to keep us safe, have a good time, and make quality gay friends.

The camaraderie within the gay community has revolved around hookup culture for decades. We use this culture to spread information to other community members, and it can lead to new and exciting friendships. 

Any encounter you make with a stranger benefits from possibly flourishing into a relationship, whether a one-time hookup or something longer lasting.

With that said, make sure to stay safe and keep your wits about you when choosing who to meet. 

Take advantage of hookup culture and make the most of it because lack of technology did not afford previous generations this luxury with such ease.

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