Top 5 Gay Dating Mistakes

Dating is daunting regardless of sexual orientation - here's a look at 5 common mistakes gay guys make while dating.

Love + Sex Dating Triston Brewer

This article was published on August 25th, 2021

Navigating the dating realm can be daunting for anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, and mistakes are common for us all no matter what end of the sexual spectrum you reside on. 

We have all had those moments when we question ourselves, our motives, and our choices in the game of love and none of us are perfect so mistakes are bound to happen. Consider them learning experiences to build on for the future. If you were wondering what some of the most common dating mistakes may be, then you have come to the right palce as HomoCulture is breaking down the top contenders in no particular order.

Photo by Kyle Bushnell on Unsplash

1. Assuming an attractive guy has a personality to match

It is rare to find anyone that is as beautiful inside as out, and it is important to remember this when out on the scene and laying your eyes on the genetically blessed. If you come across someone that looks like they hit the gym hard, you may want to see if their career and life goals match up with their outer shell or you may end up for major disappointment in the not too distant future.  

2. Mastering the art of the compromise

Long-term commitments require more effort in order to maintain them, which makes being able to express yourself openly and negotiate imperative to a successful union. However, there is a fine line in deciding what you will allow compared to what may be considered deal-breakers. Ideally, you want a partner that shares many of the core things in life like family and marriage. Some topics are for later down the road, while others need to be addressed earlier so there won’t be residual resentment. The more you know about one another’s goals and aspirations in the beginning, the easier it will be to create a lasting union. 

3. Communication will always be the core component

Men are already notorious for not being able to communicate, so for gay men to fall into this trap of not being able to express themselves fully to their partner is somewhat akin to an epidemic these days. The key to any relationship, no matter what the dynamic, is being able to communicate in a way that both parties feel heard.

Gay men that want to avoid one of the most common gay mistakes in the dating world need to be willing to fight the inclination to revert to stereotypical male behavior and not share their true emotions with their partner. Many men find that once they give in to their emotions and are more open to their significant other, it is beneficial for everyone involved and they grow stronger as a couple. 

4. Don’t rush the relationship

Of course, who doesn’t like the beginnings of a new relationship when everything is new and fresh and fuzzy all over? But the reality is that this feeling doesn’t last forever and even more importantly, gay men should put the brakes on attempting to define a relationship that is just starting out or they will risk losing it all before it has even properly begun.

In the early stages, it is normal to include a paramour in your future hopes and dreams, but it is also critical to get to know one another and to be able to take your romance to the next level in a intelligent and mature way. Take the time to see how your partner deals with a variety of situations, how he treats those in his life, and his normal schedule. Over time, you will have a better, more informed idea of who he truly is and will be able to make a decision on where and how you want the relationship to evolve.

5. Looking for love in all the wrong places. 

Of course, you can meet many gay men in bars, clubs, and local gyms, but when it comes to quality, are these the places that you think have the cream of the crop that you would like to start a union with? Contrary to popular belief, gay men live and exist outisde of darkened bars and club rooms and can be seen in natural settings like grocery stores, libraries, and galleries.

Yes, it’s true! And in another stunning development, there are apps aside from Grindr out there that are actually leading to fruitful relationships that don’t involve a dark room or a dungeon. With so many gay apps out there, do yourself a favor and expand your horizons to find a quality guy. 

Final Advice

This list could have twice as many numbers, but at the end of the day, the best advice to leave is – to paraphrase Grace Jones – don’t force the f*ck! If it’s not giving you joy, deny the boy!

If you have a dating tip you would like to share, let HomoCulture know in the comments section below!

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One thought on “Top 5 Gay Dating Mistakes

  1. William Moore

    Great article. In the list of places to meet quality men, you forgot one place: church. Surprisingly there are many gay men who regularly attend church. Such as my case. Earlier this year I approached a guy after the service and said ” you have an awesome personality” I just wanted to share that with you. He smiled and his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.. He said his name was “Dan” and I gave him my name. I had to go but said let’s talk soon and see each other next week at Mass. That whole week I couldn’t get over this handsome guy with the awesome personality,. Wow such a pleasure not to have to deal with ‘attitude’ and unlike so many situations in the past, I decided to pursue this so next week we saw each other and spoke after Mass. OI asked him briefly about himself, what he did for a living etc. He was so open and friendly and I found out he and I lived less than a block apart. Long story short: This was earlier this year and ever since then we see each other often and I recently invited him to a museum exhibit featuring objects from Pompeii, something we both are interested in. To top it off, I think i ‘ve found ‘the best thing that has ever happened to me’ and a possible quality partner. I’ve had my share of rude, flaky and aloof men and got tired of the so ‘scene’ and stopped going out to these places a long time ago trying to meet quality men in such places. .

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