8 Essential Etiquette Tips for Gay Dating

Here are a few tips and tricks to help you brush up on your gay dating etiquette

Love + Sex Dating Brian Webb

This article was published on February 22nd, 2022

We’ve all been there: you meet someone on a gay dating app, and you’re having an amazing conversation. You’ve laughed together, shared your deepest fears, and you’ve managed to talk about that one time you were really high at the same time. Heck, you’ve even shared some private snaps —you know, the ones that are just for your eyes only.

But now it’s time to meet up in real life, and you’re not sure how to go about it. Whether you met them on Grindr or Scruff, they’re still a guy. Does that mean there are no rules?

Well, yes and no. While there certainly aren’t as many rules for gay dating etiquette, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any at all!

Photo by Alex Lujan on Unsplash

Here’s everything you need to know about being polite in the world of gay dating:

1. Abide by the Golden Rule.

Remember that you’re a person too, and so is your date. Treat them like one. Offer them a drink, be polite, and don’t forget to smile. Spend quality time together and get to know each other. After all, if someone’s not interested in getting to know you better, then you don’t want to be with them anyway.

2. Keep it light and fun

Never forget that dating is supposed to be fun, exciting, and freeing. If everything feels forced, awkward, or unromantic, it’s time to stop whatever you’re doing and regroup. That doesn’t mean you need to be flirty at ALL times, but remember that your date is a person too — and people want to feel appreciated as more than a token date to make someone else jealous or uncomfortable.

3. Don’t be a gold digger

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage, or at least some serious cuddling, then you should stop looking to date wealthy men immediately. Yes, there’s nothing wrong with having expensive tastes and wanting to take care of yourself financially — but there’s also nothing wrong with not being able to afford the finer things in life. If you truly want to find lasting love, start by getting comfortable with yourself and loving what you have instead of always yearning for someone else.

4. Don’t give out personal information too soon

There’s a reason people call it going on a “date” instead of going on a “check out their address and background check.” When you meet someone for the first time, make sure to keep things light and easy-going and slowly build trust as your relationship progresses. It might seem like common sense, but some people get carried away by the excitement of meeting someone new and accidentally divulge too much information about themselves.

5. Practice good hygiene

Hygiene is incredibly important when it comes to dating, just like with anything else in life. There’s nothing quite like getting to know someone and then finding out that they smell like junior high gym locker rooms. Make sure you shower daily (at least) and keep any unwanted body odours under control. Be confident in how you present yourself because no one wants to kiss someone with bad breath or greasy hair. If your date can’t smell you, then he probably won’t want to date you either. 

6. Avoid making sexual assumptions

For starters, if your date is a man, don’t assume he’s gay! While this may seem like common sense, many gay men find themselves single because they’ve been catfished by a straight guy. If you’re meeting someone online, avoid discussing your sexual preferences until you’ve met up in person. If you do meet up with them and find out they’re straight, don’t be rude or impolite about it. Instead, politely end and excuse yourself from the conversation.

7. Keep your options open

One of the most important things to remember when you’re going on a date with someone is that you shouldn’t close yourself off to other possibilities just because you think that this person is “the one.” Just because they’ve met your criteria and seem to be perfect for you doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of other people out there who fit the bill. Keep an open mind and keep talking to people even if you think it’s going well with the person you’re seeing. You never know what might happen.

8. Learn to take rejection gracefully

We can all agree that rejection sucks, but if you’re dating, it’s bound to happen at some point or another. The key thing is to learn how to take rejection in stride and not let it throw off your entire game. If a date doesn’t work out, it’s probably because he’s got different priorities than you do, not because he thinks there’s anything wrong with you (even if he does). Don’t let him get under your skin — just move on and keep looking for someone better suited for what you want from life.

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