Gay Men Need to Keep Their Head Up and Their Heart Safe When Dating

Maximize your online dating presence and avoid the horrible block button!

Love + Sex Dating Sean Kivi

This article was published on July 20th, 2022

At some point or another, we have all faced rejection. When it happens online, it’s easy to pretend it doesn’t bother us. However, if we continually face rejection, it’s difficult to look past ourselves and realize we aren’t the problem. So, how can you maximize your online presence to get the man of your dreams and avoid the horrible block button?

There are a few things you can do to ensure your profile looks the best it can. When you optimize your online profile, it will improve your chances of landing date and attract the type of guy you want. 

The first thing you need to do is get clear on the type of man you want. There are many subgroups in the gay community. You may know some of them, like twink, bear, and masc. However, there are many other types of subgroups you can optimize your profile to attract. 

Photo by Letícia Pelissari on Unsplash

Here’s a breakdown of the most common subgroups in the gay community. You may be surprised, but popular dating apps do not cover all of them. 

The gay subgroups you can optimize your online profile for are:

Otter WolfBearCub
JockGym RatTransNon-binary

There could even be further subgroups within these groups, too. The list is endless because subgroups exist due to cultural differences

When you get clear on which type of guy you want to attract, you can choose visuals and profile images to attract them. It’s almost like branding, and you’re selling yourself. So, what’s the first cardinal rule of branding? Make the curtains match the drapes. 

It’s not only the words that will make your profile stand out to someone but the visuals you choose. If there is a disconnect between the image your portraying and the words you’re using, people will notice. So, if you’re looking for a bear, you can start by looking at some online forums to understand the language they use. If you don’t do this, it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get the man of your dreams, but it will be harder.

When people are looking for a partner, they aren’t only looking at the physical. They want to know you understand them. So, make sure you learn the lingo of the type of guy you want to look for!

Next, learn what makes the type of guy you’re looking for tick. Not in a negative way, of course. Nobody likes a negative Nancy in a relationship. Instead, focus on what is most important to them. Don’t speak to one specific type of guy. That’s not the point of your online profile. The profile is to help you find possible guys to date!

Focusing on a subculture will not narrow your results down too far. If you get too specific, you may exclude too many people when looking for a date. Once you’re on a date, you can clearly understand the guy you’re speaking to. Perhaps they are the guy you’ve been looking for, but if not, you will still have other options to fall back on. 

So, how can you optimize your image to attract the type of guy you want? Well, for starters, you should probably not choose the photo you will use. When we look at photos of ourselves, we are predisposed to choosing images where we think we look best. But, if you have someone else choose your profile picture, they’ll give you a better idea of what other people may be looking for. 

The next thing you should do is avoid neutral colors. On the internet, you’re competing for attention all the time. If you come across someone with a yellow shirt and green pants, it will probably stick out more than someone who wears all black. Make sure you show your teeth too. Showing your teeth and smile tells someone you’re confident and comfortable with yourself. 

Do you hunch over when you take pics? People will judge you by your stance, which may suck – but it’s true. So, before you take a photo, make sure you stand up straight and try to show off your body a little more. Instead of opting for a close-up picture of your face, try taking a photo from the waist up. Or, if you’re feeling sassy, take a body shot. In the online world, people want to be free of doubt before meeting someone. When you show off more of yourself, people can feel certain about who they’re meeting. Not only does it make them feel like they can trust you, but it also ensures that you will meet someone who wants to go on a date with you. 

If you’re ever feeling down or like online dating isn’t for you – try following these tips. They’ll keep your heart safe from continual rejection and give you the confidence you need to keep at online dating. At its core, the secret to avoiding feeling down is getting clear on what you’re looking for and putting a pic and profile message that match. So, what do you think of our tips? Let us know the comments. Will you try any of these? 

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