This article was published on December 5th, 2022
The Holiday season is in full swing. In America people are preparing turkeys and fully fisting them full of vegetables. In England people are already sipping on eggnog in the streets before the sun sets at 4PM and in Canada the climate is just right for a cuddle and snuggle with your bae.
And with all this in full swing, you’re probably looking for some tips to make sure that anyone who comes to your party ends up at least a little wavy, has a good time, and grabs Santa’s ass under the mistletoe. If you wanna know how to throw the best holiday party to invite all your ho-ho-ho friends and make their time unforgettable – keep reading. In this story we’re going to tell you what you can do to have an unforgettable party.
1. For the love of God, don’t forget the drinks
Straight people can literally be so drab at this time of year. All they talk about is their kids and the how excited they will be upon opening their gifts. We love you Karen, but we don’t care. We just want to have fun in our kid free homes.
Gays definitely know how to have a good time. Alcohol and party favors is a big part of what we consider fun. If you’re looking for some holiday drinks that are bound to leave your guests gagging for more and heading to you, the host, for an immediate refill here’s what you should concoct for them.
Did you know Santa comes from Canada? He’s even got a passport! So, in true fashion of the Christmas spirit you should make everyone at your party a Santa Clause martini. If you have frisky friends pour them two. And if you know anyone who is a downright lush – go ahead and make a batch cause they’re gonna love ‘em!
The best thing about this drink is that it’s cheap and easy. You only need Stoli Elit and cranberry juice. Mix them together and rim a glass with sugar before serving. A sweet drink for the best friends.
Got any friends with a sweet tooth? The gingerbread martini is the ultimate flavor explosion your tastebuds will love. Here’s what you need to make this delectable drink.
Stoli Gold, Coffee Liqueur, milk (soy will work too if your friends are vegan – trust us on this one, nobody likes dairy farts) and ginger syrup. Garnish the rim of your serving glass with crushed gingerbread cookies and enjoy.
Anyone else here think regular eggnog is overrated? Even if you don’t, you can’t disagree that alcohol makes anything better. You can make these eggnog martinis to satisfy your friends, quench their thirst and guarantee that you’ll find some daddy kissing Santa Claus somewhere in your house.
And you only need three ingredients, Stoli Gold, almond liqueur and eggnog.
Easy peezy booty squeaky. You’ve got a drink that everyone will love.
Now, we know that you may have a specific drink in mind. Perhaps you know the flavor profile you want to envelop your tongue. So, we’ve created the ultimate list of Christmas drinks you must have at your party.
2. Please, no kids allowed.
If you’ve got children that’s great, but rest assured most of your gay friends don’t. And if they don’t the last thing they want to do is watch their language or alcohol intake. Gay people already consume more alcohol than heterosexuals. Sometimes people are drinking through their problems.
Did you know that there are actually websites that send gay people Christmas cards? Given that some people in our community will inevitably experience a hard time this festive seasons because their families disowned them, it’s best to throw a party where everyone can be themselves. With kids around people sometimes feel they need to act a specific way.
Your friends will appreciate an adult only party this holiday season.
3. Desserts? Yes, please.
Christmas is the one time of year we get to act like Regina George in mean girls. It’s the time of year to stuff our faces with the most delicious meals and be ignorant to the calories we’re consuming. If you’re going to throw a Christmas party, you should have a designated pig out table where all your friends can go to eat until they can’t move. And we literally mean eat until they can’t move.
What should be on this Christmas dessert table? Cookies of all kinds and sorts. Cakes, chocolate pies. Anything delicious you can get your hands on. We all know that upon arriving your friends may not head to the table. But as the night continue and people get merrier from the alcohol induces shenanigans slowly but surely the desserts on your table will disappear. Your table will be the Colombian Government and your desserts like Shakira. At the end of the nigh nobody will know where they are.
4. Have some boredom busing games, please.
Have you ever gone to a party but been bored out of your mind because you’ve not had anything to do other than drink? How did it make you feel? Don’t do that to your friends. Have some games. If you want to see which friend is the raunchiest you can try cards against humanity. It will give you great insight into the type of friends you have. And you’ll likely learn some things about them you never would have expected.
Another option is to play secret Santa. Let all your friends know they need to bring a gift but put a ridiculously low price limit on the gift. Instead of expensive perfumes make these gag gifts. Perhaps one of your friends will bring a willy warmer and it will make the night ever so interesting.
5. Finally, be organized.
If until now nothing on this list has suited your fancy, let this be the one that resonates with you. We’ve all been to parties where the host hasn’t finished the snacks, the music is Coldplay rather than Mariah Carey’s Christmas album, an honestly it just makes us wanna puke.
Your friends will be too nice to tell you, but not being organized will make their party experience one they never want to repeat.
Here’s how you can make sure you’re ready when guests arrive.
- Make a list.
- Actually do everything on the list.
- Be ready when guests start arriving, and if possible, greet them with a gay hug and a drink.
Get ready for the party of a lifetime
Now that you’ve read everything on our list, what do you think is the best and why? Let us know your thoughts and comments below. We’d love to know what you think and what you’re planning this holiday season.