This article was published on December 22nd, 2022
How many hot Santa’s have you seen this holiday season? Imagine walking downtown with the snow falling and you look over to see the hottest guy you’ve ever laid eyes on collecting money for charity. At first you think, “he’s charming” but then you take a second glance and you’re blown away by his perfectly positioned hair, beautiful eyes, tall dark and handsome stature…
All this happens in a moment, and he’s gone. The only thing left is you and your imagination. So, you walk off forgetting he ever existed. Then, by chance, your friend invites you for some Xmas drinks and it just so happens that the bar you’re in has a strip show later that night. You’ve had one too many White Christmas cocktails and are feeling on top of the world when all of sudden you notice the contestants for the strip show. Low and behold… Santa. Only this time he’s also feeling pretty jolly, and you notice he has a huge package, and his arms are wider around that Miss Claus’s belly.
After the show you think, “he’s all trade” so you muster up the confidence to ask him to your home for a few drinks. Unexpectedly he obliges. Now what?
What are you going to do? Give him the same boring treatment you gave to every other guy you’ve ever been with? Or do you give him a real Christmas treat and a night he’ll never forget?
It’s an unlikely story. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t get into the mood this holiday season with some sexy Christmas themed sex positions. Here are some for you to try and enjoy with your partner or on a hot hookup.
And always stay safe this holiday if you’re hooking up!
Now, onto the fun positions!
Santa’s naughty little helper
This position is perfect for a quickie at a holiday party in the restroom or in the office closet. The beauty in it is that the top doesn’t even need to be naked. To execute this position, you only need to whip the dick out and ensure the top is sitting in a chair. He should sit and then take out his yule log through his zipper. Once that’s done you can slide down your pants to present your tight little package – just right for Santa to take. Don’t straddle Santa either. Simply let him stuff your own stocking with his huge candy cane as he enjoys the view and you enjoy a ride on his sleigh this Christmas season.
Christmas is cumming!
For this position all you need is a table or bar and a willingness to extract every last drop of Santa’s warm milk to go with the cookies that await you as a reward. Santa needs to sit with his legs open, presenting his perfectly wrapped package for you to open. Surprise! Now you’ve ripped away everything enclosing your gift. Now you need to be a good little elf and get to work. As Santa tells you all the reasons, you’re on his naughty list, you’ll give him multiple reasons for him to put you on the nice list. Jingle his bells as he calls you a ho-ho-ho. Don’t forget to ask Santa for a cookie before he gives you a warm shot of his eggnog.
The Reverse Rudolph
Any furries out there reading this? If so, you’re going to love the reverse Rudolph. Your partner should lie flat on his back. You need to face away from him, straddling him. As you’re doing so you should take flight, not forgetting any turbulence that you the reindeer may face on your journey round the world from the north pole. We promise this will be a reindeer ride Santa will never forget about. Just before Santa finishes, he should say, “merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!”
And don’t forget about…
This position is quite niche, perfect for a naughty green grinch who needs a swift kick in the ass. The grinch should get on his hands and knees, being a good little sub. Santa needs to have perfectly trimmed toenails because Santa is going to give the naughty little grinch the foot up the ass he’s been dying for all year long. Just make sure you use ample amounts of lube and don’t forget that this is not meant to hurt. Unless the grinch has a kink for it. If so, always adhere to his safe word” which we recommend be “Cindy Lou who?”
The Piggy Pudding
Christmas would not be complete with a pig being roasted. And of course, we all know that everyone loves a good cream pie during the holidays. The pigs pudding is a very simple and straightforward Christmas sex move that has multiple variations. For those with a sweet tooth for chocolate you can get extra kinky this Christmas granted the person you’re with has a similar kink. We recommend only doing this with someone you are in a relationship with. Why? Because it involves your man finishing inside you. To make a Christmas piggy pudding your partner needs to be inside of you as he finishes. Upon completion, you, the pig will deliver him his delicious pudding straight into his mouth as you wish him a merry Christmas.
If you’re less chocolate and prefer a vanilla dessert, you can opt for…
The figgy pudding
The figgy pudding is very similar to the piggy pudding. The only difference here is that you partner will deliver you a warm shot of eggnog in the mouth and you will share it with him in a kiss.
But if that’s not for you, there are plenty of other reindeer games for you to explore and try this holiday season.
What do you think about the Christmas sex positions? Which was your favorite and which would you never try? Let us know in the comments below!