Dominant Top 301

  You’ve been through the 101 of how to be a dominant top, and have thrust yourself into the intermediate waters of topping 201—but now is the time to go […]

Love + Sex Sex Education Jace Payne

This article was published on February 8th, 2015


Exploring BDSM and how to incorporate it into your sex life.

You’ve been through the 101 of how to be a dominant top, and have thrust yourself into the intermediate waters of topping 201—but now is the time to go balls-to-the wall, and try some advanced techniques to make your partner scream into the pillow. But the first part of this lesson is a reminder: just because you have built a solid foundation as a top, you don’t want to forget these skills.

Rimming and fingering are still great starters. You shouldn’t skip on foreplay unless you are severely pressed for time, or you don’t have the space available to give your partner a proper opening sequence. Oral skill allows you to open up your partner and get them ready for a hardcore pounding, and sex is always better when you allow the tension to build. Nothing is more satisfying than having your bottom begging for you to dominate them.

And that leads into your new set of skills that will keep them coming back for more, starting with teasing—and you can do this using the head of your dick. Start by pushing it against their opening and allowing it to slide inside, right to the start of your shaft. But you’ll stop there, and do it over and over again, until they are begging for full insertion. When you finally give it and let them have it, give them all you’ve got. Relentless pounding is your goal at this point; a true power bottom can handle it without complaint. If you have a starter bottom, these techniques aren’t appropriate until they’ve mastered basic and intermediate skills on how to get fucked.

Once you start laying into their asses, without mercy, don’t stop. Take hold of their hips and drive into them furiously. Keep things interesting by varying the positions you use, as each provides a different sensation for the bottom; and some of them let you go deeper than others. You can also try a little bondage, including leather wrist and leg restraints, to make things more interesting. This gives you more control. If the bottom is a new partner, this may not be an option—but it can be for someone you’ve been with many times, which can also liven up boring sex.

Being verbal is a big part of being a dominant top. How can you expect a sub to respect you if you remain silent throughout sex? If you aren’t comfortable talking dirty, you can watch porn to see how the pros do it. And you don’t always have to talk, even though it’s better if you do. Loud grunts and moans are really hot. You’ll find that you are capable of more than you think once you’ve broken out of your comfort zone.

Remember, never forget the basics when topping—such as using plenty of lube, and embracing foreplay. Even power bottoms who are capable of being pounded for hours on end enjoy having their holes properly worked on and pleasured. It’s not always just about the hardcore drilling.

Sex doesn’t have to be boring and predictable. Mix things up and keep it interesting.

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