How to land your dream guy at the gym for love and sex

The tips and rules to play by when looking for love and hookups at the gym.

Love + Sex Sex Education Simon Elstad

This article was published on April 3rd, 2021

Go to the gym, they said. It will be fun, they said. Heck, what fun is there in struggling to lift weights only to get sore thereafter? (Ok, well, you do come out looking a Lil hotter and healthier.)

Now, what they didn’t tell you is that by ‘fun,’ they meant you could find a potential partner at the gym, besides sweating your ass off to get a toned body. Yup, gym hookups are still a thing.

The gym has become a popular meeting place where guys go with the secondary intention of finding a would-be boyfriend.

With plenty of hot guys to choose from, knowing where to start becomes the challenging part. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to navigate the gym terrain that raise your chances of landing a hookup or even your dream guy. Below are six of the best ways to cruise or look for a potential partner at the gym.

Photo by Mark Bertulfo on Unsplash

1. Establish eye contact

There’s something exhilarating about making subtle yet suggestive eye contact with potential guys at the gym. Not the stare-downs, though.

How do you know it’s working? Easy. Does the other guy repeatedly glance your way? If it’s a one-off glance, that’s probably “accidental.” However, if he checks you out a second and third time, perhaps it’s time to take it a step further.

Most gay men seem to have mastered the subtle art of the “I fu**ing want you now” glance. You know it. That look you give guys that make you throb and pulsate in areas you didn’t even know existed.

Unleash it at the gym and only make a move when your intuition feels right.

2. Introduce yourself

If you are interested in someone, you will always look for an opportunity to introduce yourself. A simple introduction speaks volumes and makes your romantic intentions clear. However, do not be in a rush to “Hi, I’m Jason,” yourself to him.

The introduction can come after a few days of spotting each other at the gym. He might not necessarily be queer, but you can always read the sign(s) from the vibe he exudes.

3. Ask if he needs a spotter

Some workouts like bench presses or squats are demanding and sometimes require a spotter. Make your advances known by asking him if he needs to be spotted. This is an opportune moment to know each other better. For introverts, don’t feel pressured to approach and ask if the person you desire needs help.  

Some situations necessitate quick action, and you’ll quickly have your way with him. For instance, if you see him struggle to perform that last rep on the bench press, jump in and help out. The chances are that if he’s doing more sets, he will more likely than not ask you to spot him.

4. Show up in sexy gym attire

Nothing screams turn on like a guy at the gym donning fitting apparel with all muscles on display. It’s the sole reason some guys even show up at the gym! We all want to drool at these gym rats when their ass is popping during squats or glance at their firm pecs in tight tank tops.

Turning up fittingly dressed for the gym (or underdressed) dramatically raises your chances of getting a few glances. Those may turn into potential mates later on.

5. Roam around the locker room

You cannot understate the sexual energy flowing through a gym’s locker room, a bunch of virtually naked dudes teeming with testosterone and adrenaline. It’s probably the single best place to talk to your gym-crush or try, eerr, other things.

So, how do you even tell he might be into you? (Assuming you don’t make the first move)?

Subtly observe. Watch as he seductively applies lotion on his body. Is he trying to make eye contact? Does he constantly twitch his breast muscles in your presence? It’s not an exact art (science?), but you can always tell from your gut reaction. Trust your intuition.

6. Ask for his number

Now that you both know each other and are gym buddies, getting his number would be the icing on the cake. (For the 100th time: Not those cakes. That comes a little later. LOL)

Most guys are more than willing to share numbers, especially if you can help motivate each other to stick to your fitness goals.

As the conversation flows, drop hints about your feelings for him and gauge how that goes. You just might get lucky.


Gyms are ideal places to meet other guys and more so queer ones. While there is no laid-out formula for gym hookups or even finding love, the suggestions above can help make your search easier. The bottom line: Maintain good ties with your crush, even if things don’t work out. Otherwise, you may end up changing gyms or cringe whenever you come across each other.

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